My Sensei or the guy nextdoor (Kakashi)

Chapter 35

Being in Kakashi's arms again felt like heaven, the heat coming from his chest warmed you to the core. His smell was intoxicating, and you had to fight the urge to just fall asleep in his embrace. Though it had only been six months it felt like the longest six months of your life and his. His eyes had dark bags underneath them, his forehead had lines from stress, his hair didn't have the volume it once had. You could see what you having been gone had done to him, and regret tightened your chest forcing tears back into your eyes.

"I'm so sorry Kakashi...." You whispered out through sniffles. He looked down at you worried, not understanding why you were suddenly crying again.

"For what baby?" he asked, looking at you with such love and sincerity.

"I should've tried harder to escape, pushed past my worries to find you. All I did though was just stay, stay where I was safe and wait for you. What if you never found me? What if you wasted the rest of your life searching for me?" the sobs made your words come out a blabbering mess.

"Lotus, stop crying please. I am so surprised by how strong you were, choosing our babies safety over your own freedom. There is also no reason to play these what if games, I did find you and I won't let you go again. Thank you for staying safe for me, I couldn't handle losing someone else." He kissed the top of your head, letting it linger for a few seconds before he looked down at you smiling.

"You just look so tired though, I should've done more to make it easier for you." you reached up touching his face gingerly with your hand.

"I'm not going to lie, I am very tired. That's why I want to get you home safely, so I can sleep soundly with you in my arms. But please don't worry about me dear, I'm happier than I've been in months." He flashed you an even bigger smile.

He carried you for hours, telling you of the missions he had been on and how things had changed in the village. You told him of the wonderful books you had read and filled him in on all the info you had learned of the Akatsuki. He had stuck away from asking about Itachi which you were grateful for, you would share anything but not about him.

The conversation died out after a little while, you got lost in your own thoughts and fears. You were so excited to go home, but you couldn't deny that part of you was sad to leave Itachi. Things hadn't felt completely right with him, the love was there, the friendship, the companionship, all of that. The problem was you felt like a pretty bird stuck in a cage, admired but never free. A part of you would always wish it could've worked out better, he would have been an amazing partner and father. You feared how he would react once he got home to find you gone. Would he follow you to the village? Would he sneak in to steal you away once again? The thought both terrified and exhilarated you, which only made the guilt feel heavier.

The fear set in deeper when you thought about what must happen after you get back home. First thing you would need to do is talk to Genma and explain why you ran out after his confession, it hurt knowing you would be breaking his heart. Then after dealing with that, you need to see the Dr, where you knew the paternity would come into question again. What happens if its not the outcome you hope for? You want to be with Kakashi but what if the babies are not his, would he still stay? You would hope so, but that's a lot to ask of someone.

Kakashi looked down, he could tell you were stressing by the lines growing deeper between your furrowed brows. He wanted to ask but was scared to know the answer, deciding he needed a break, he found a tree and sat you down.

"Let's rest for a bit, need to relax my arms for a few" he chuckled stretching out.

"I'm sorry, you really don't have to carry me, we might just need to travel slower. I usually walk the perimeter every day, just slowly" you laughed.

"Were you happy there?" he asked, unease written across his face.

"I was at times, I know that must hurt to hear. It was just easy, i learned to enjoy the simple things. Every morning id watch the sunrise while I ate my breakfast, id spend the day outside, strolling around or sitting on the porch reading. Itachi would keep me entertained with stories of the world and the people he had come across. I learned everything about the Akatsuki and even a few about the leaf village that I didn't know. I was able to just focus on relaxing and enjoying the day for what it was." You explained, his face had gone blank, but he nodded along as you talked.

"All that being said though, something always felt like it was missing. I missed home so much, I've craved Ichiraku ramen more than air. Many times when the babies have kicked I've thought about how Naruto would react to feeling it, I think he would freak out! I'm sure Sakura and Ino would've found me a million cute baby clothes by now." You smiled thinking about how they probably would've also fought over who would be godmother. "You know what I thought about more than anything though? What made me long for home everyday and would bring me to tears?".

"What?" he asked.

"You" you stated with a smile "I thought often of how your face would light up when you learned it was twins. I thought about once we knew the sex of them we would argue about the crazy baby names you would suggest. I would daydream of how you would talk to the babies or run your fingers along my belly as you hummed to them. I would laugh to myself thinking about you running out at all times of the day to get the things I craved. I cried when I would think of you holding me in bed, hand holding my belly as you whisper sweet things to me as I fall asleep." tears had begun to slip down your cheeks as you talked.

"I didn't mean to make you cry" he said reaching for you.

"Its not your fault, it's the hormones, I cry at everything now. I know I seem like I'm at war with myself, and I am. As much as I'm excited to be with you and go home, I do have doubts and fears. I also am torn by my feelings, I know that I want to be with you but it hurts me thinking of Itachi showing up to an empty house without a real goodbye. I know that a proper goodbye couldn't be had, he would've fought you with everything to keep me. Obviously this isn't what you want to here but I have to be honest. I'm also terrified of what the Dr will say, what happens to us if they aren't yours? I know you've said before that you are in this, but I fear that once its actually real that you will leave or regret saving me" you started speaking fast, almost too fast to understand.

"Hush" he said softly placing his finger against your lips "I could never regret saving you, I also have no plans on leaving you ever. These babies could come out looking like Gai and I would still love them, id have some questions though" he said with a laugh.

"You and me both" you laughed back.

"Its going to be okay my beautiful Lotus, now let's finish this trip home" he stood up and offered you his hand "Lets go home so we can eat some ramen" he joked.

"That sounds so good right now!" you laughed, taking his hand to stand up. He swooped you back up into his arms and took off, the air seemed cleared and you felt much better after having spoken on what was bothering you.

*Sorry this chapter was a bit emotional and all over the place, got alot going on. Didnt want to not write though so hopefully everyone will forgive me for not much content this chapter. Next chapter will be better i promise! I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your week!