The days leading up to the mission were stressful, knowing that they were going after such ruthless people was nerve wracking. The possibility of everyone living through this was hard to imagine and that only made you cling to them more. Kakashi had to do a lot of prep before the mission and you had stuck close to his side through it all, the thought of not seeing him making you feel on edge. He didn't mind your closeness though, he was just as worried about going but didn't want his fear to worsen yours.
On the morning of the mission you walked with him, Genma and the boys to the gate. Your hands shaking like crazy the closer you got, everything inside told you something bad was going to happen. Sakaki sensing your fear hugged you tighter around the neck and kissed your cheek which did luckily ease some of your fear. When you all arrived at the gate, it was as if the world went silent and all you could hear was your own pounding heartbeat.
"Give me hugs" Kakashi said happily reaching for the boys. They both hugged him tightly around the neck and he gave them both several kisses all over their sweet faces. He then handed them to Genma and paused before going to you.
"Take care of them for me" Kakashi said. Genma had always helped take care of them so he was confused at first until he read what Kakashi was saying between the lines.
"Always, don't worry about them" he said reassuring him.
"Thank you Genma" Kakashi said giving him a nod before walking over to you. He stood in front of you looking at your face but he could tell your mind was lost in that moment.
"Lotus" he called but you didn't budge. "Lotus?" he tried again still not able to pull you from the fear that had you gripped in its clutches.
"Lotus!" he said more forcefully. He grabbed your chin and pulled your lips to his finally pulling you from the darkness. "There you are" he said looking into your frightened eyes.
"Don't go" you said.
"I have to, I will come back though, trust me" he said still holding your chin to keep your eyes on his.
"I can't explain why but something bad is going to happen, I can feel it deep in my bones Kakashi" you explained.
"Listen to me, nothing, nothing at all will stop me from coming back to you. You are my reason to live and that will pull me through everything thrown my way. I told you I will not leave you and I meant that, so please don't worry too much. Just keep everyone safe here and be waiting right here for me when I get back so yours is the first face I see." He instructed.
"I will, just please come back in one piece and don't take too long" you said.
"I'll run the whole way if it gets me here faster" he gently placed his hands on your cheeks and stared down into your eyes. He swept your face with his eyes a few times, locking the image into his brain before bringing his lips to yours.
"I love you Kakashi" you whispered against his lips.
"I love you too y/n" he said before kissing you again. "I'll be back soon" he said breaking the hold he had on you and walking away to the team that all stood waiting to leave.
They disappeared in a matter of seconds, everyone filled with nervous energy and running being the only way to focus each other in. Your heart ached for the minutes that you stood there after they left until Genma rested his head against yours.
"Its going to be okay Princess" he reassured.
"You're all wrong, and you'll see that" you said flatly. "Let's go for a walk, I need to clear my mind" you said reaching for Sakaki, Genma quickly handed him over.
He walked beside you in silence as you made your way through the village, but the further you walked the more stressed your face looked. He grabbed your hand and led you a way you hadn't been before, he dragged you along until he came to a small grove of trees with really lush grass. He pulled you over to the center and sat down pulling you with him. He sat the boys on their feet and watched as they ran around playing in the grass, looking for bugs.
"This is my favorite spot to come with them in the mornings, it's just peaceful don't you think?" he asked.
"Yes its nice" you said void of emotion. He reached over and squished your cheeks together and then drug his thumb down the center of your forehead forcing you to release the frown lines that were forming.
"My mother used to say that if you hold a face for too long that it'll stick that way, and you are much too beautiful to be stuck with a frown forever Princess" he lightly teased. You lightly chuckled and his smile lit up at the sound. "There that's much better, pretty as a rose" he complimented.
"Thank you, I needed that" you sighed.
"I could tell, this is going to be a rough couple weeks for you. I want you to know though I'm here for you, and you can always talk to me about how your feeling." He explained.
"I know but talking about my fears for another man seems disrespectful" you shrugged.
"To a weaker man sure, but I'm not that way. I will always listen to your worries and fears no matter who they are directed at. I am in this with you, and that means understanding your feelings for someone else as well. I just hope that one day you will have this sort of worry over me, because I'm sure feeling that type of love must be amazing." He said softly, he held your hand in his as he spoke.
"I do worry about you just as much, its just luckily you get to stay here where I can find you so my fear isn't as great. If you both had to constantly leave I don't think I could handle it, the fear would eat me alive." You explained.
"Then I'm so glad I get to be here, where you can find me if you need me" he said with a sweet smile. "I know these next few weeks will be hard for you to enjoy but I am really looking forward to having you all to myself, and hopefully you'll let me take you on a date or two" he scooted in closer to you and rested his forehead against yours.
"Id really like that" you said closing your eyes and letting his love wash over you, allowing some of the fear to ease.
"Now how about we go get some breakfast and then spend the day together? I think we are long overdue for a day of fun, mixed with an afternoon nap and maybe an evening picnic as a family" he stood up and offered his hands to you.
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"Sounds like an amazing day to me, I could use a happy distraction" you said reaching for his hands. He pulled you up into a hug and held you for a few moments before he could feel your body relax at his touch.
He picked up Yuki and sat him on his shoulders and held his foot to keep him in place. You picked up Sakaki and held him on your hip and you all walked back towards the village. Genma caught your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze, the smile he gave you really helped hide away the fear that wanted to hold you down.
