My Sensei or the guy nextdoor (Kakashi)

Chapter 52

It was time to set off on the mission and Genma was oddly silent, even Tsunade noticed how tense he seemed. When you had come downstairs he had acted casual enough but you could see his jaw was tight.

"Why do you look like someone killed your pet?" Tsunade asked Genma who seemed caught off guard at the question.

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"You just look tense, I told you this isn't even a big deal. I just can't go alone to places now since I'm the Hokage otherwise I would've gladly left both of you behind" she huffed.

"I'm sorry Ma'am I just didn't sleep well is all" he forcefully lowered his shoulders and unclenched his jaw.

"Is this your doing?" she asked turning her head your way.

"What's that supposed to mean?" you laughed.

"I assumed you had been "together" last night" she said with a coy smile.

"Lady Tsunade! Its not like that between me and Genma anymore" you said shaking your head to cover your blushing cheeks. Genma's face slightly dropped at the admission which you didn't see but Tsunade did.

"That's too bad, would've made some very cute babies" she said with a shrug.

A wave of sadness hit you at the idea, you knew how badly he had wanted one of the boys to be his. He would truly be an amazing father and in the year you had spent together you really thought of what it would be like to have his baby. Somedays you still thought about it but you couldn't admit it to anyone, not even him because you were worried of giving him hope of a future you couldn't provide.

"Probably best we didn't, would've been terrible if those poor kids looked like me" he joked trying to lighten the mood, but his self deprecation really struck a nerve inside. He was a very handsome man and you didn't like him even making a simple joke like that, especially because he wasn't the type to do that.

"I honestly thought about it a lot and wanted it to be a girl if it ever happened, thought id name her Kairi unless of course Genma had another name in mind" You said catching both of them by surprise.

"Kairi huh? Very pretty name" Tsunade said nodding her head. Genma didn't respond, his eyes were set straight forward but you could tell that your words had changed his mood, you weren't for sure if it was for the better though.

The village you were traveling to was only a few hours from Konoha and the three of you arrived just as the sun was setting. Tsunade led the way to small hole in the wall looking place which she instructed you to guard.

"I'll just be inside, just check the perimeter or something and then hangout, I might be awhile. If you get tired just go get a room" she said waving her hand in dismissal.

Genma took to the roof and did a quick check of the surrounding area to be sure there were no noticeable enemies. When he dropped back down on the other side of the door frame from you he didn't say anything, just stood there in silence.

"So.... I'm sorry about this morning, I'm sure you heard what was going on and I know that must've not been easy for you. I really do try to keep the romantic stuff to a minimum when your around, I just slipped up this time." You apologized.

"I'm really okay, that stuff doesn't bother me." He said shrugging it off, still looking forward.

"Don't lie to me please, you can't even look at me so obviously it bothered you" you said pushing him to tell the truth.

"I only wish that hearing you was the problem" He said shaking his head.

"Do you just want to pretend that I didn't hear you outside the door?" you asked knowing how he would react. His body stiffened and he didn't respond, his fists clenched at his side.

"I'm sorry..... I feel really bad" he said embarrassed.

"No need to be sorry, I think it was kind of hot, your heavy breathing coming softly through the door, mmm" you said teasing him trying to lighten the mood.

"I really thought you would be mad" he said gently shaking his head. "I really didn't mean to listen in, I didn't know what was happening till I was already at your door. Then I heard you moan and memories of us flooded back so intensely and I just missed hearing that sound." He admitted.

"Hearing you flooded back memories too and I missed those times also. I'm glad to still have you in my life but it is hard sometimes, feels weird not holding hands or kissing you, you know?" you asked sincerely.

"Yea I know, everyday I have to fight myself to not kiss you goodbye when I come get the boys. When you got back from your mission all I wanted to do was cuddle up and have you tell me all about it and I couldn't." he said, his tone was soft and sad.

"I hope you know I really thought I was doing the right thing by just choosing one of you, I didn't like the rumors being spread about us. I don't like people talking badly about you guys when I'm the one who got us into this mess, just didn't seem fair to drag your name through the mud. I would've kept you both for forever if I could've just been selfish enough, too bad I have a freaking conscience" you joked and kicked a rock by your foot.

"I wish you would've just talked to me like this about it beforehand, maybe I could've convinced you that the rumors didn't bother me." He suggested.

"I'm sure you could have, I don't doubt it at all." You agreed.

"Do you ever regret it? Breaking it off I mean" he asked.

"Almost everyday, don't get me wrong though I am happy. My little family makes my world whole, and Kakashi is a fantastic father and boyfriend, we just have some difference in opinions that make some days harder than others. It was nice being with both of you because you are honestly quite different, where he is too protective you push me to be better and encourage me that I can do it. At the same time though he makes my life feel exciting and filled with surprises, while being with you makes me feel comfortable and at peace. I really lucked out with the two of you" you said smiling at him.

"Can I ask you a more sensitive question?" he asked.

"We already seem to be having a very serious conversation in front of this crap hole that Tsunade is most definitely gambling in, so why not" you joked.

"Where does Itachi fit into all this?" he asked. "I just feel like things are different with him for you, I know you love both of us but I also feel like if the circumstance were right you would choose him over either of us." He explained.

"Ouch, when you said more personal you really meant it" you said awkwardly scratching the back of your neck. "Things with Itachi will probably always be complicated, as much as you make me feel comfortable and at peace, he makes me feel like I'm at home. When I'm with him I feel powerful and appreciated, it feels like my body is whole. The reality of it though is I was a broken person when we started dating and that's why I feel fixed when I'm with him, because he literally glued me back together. When he dies though I'm sure I'll be broken so I'm very glad that I have these wonderful guys to share my life with, and my beautiful babies, one of which looks just like him. I'm happy to have a little piece of him with me always, and I will protect that with my life." You explained.

"I'm sure he won't die for a while, and I'll be here to help put you back together when he does." He assured.

"It'll be sooner than you think" you said under your breath.

"Can I ask one more question?" he asked.

"I'm nervous to say yes" you lightly chuckled.

"Why the name Kairi?" he asked.

"It just came to me in a dream one night when we were together and it just felt right, she looked a lot like you but had my eyes" you said smiling to yourself.

"Kairi...... its really a beautiful name, maybe one day" he said the last part under his breath.

"Maybe" you responded under your breath as well.

*Sorry i was a few days late, working on a Halloween special for my other book and it made me run behind schedule. Simple more heartfelt chapter, but will add some action and surprise guests in the next chapter to spice things up. Thank you for reading and i hope you have a wonderful week!