My Sensei or the guy nextdoor (Kakashi)

Chapter 50

Watching Kakashi walk away filled you with instant regret, you hadn't really meant it about changing teams you were just upset. He had valid reasons for being protective but it made you feel pitiful at times, you wanted to prove that you were strong like your parents. They gave everything they had to protect this village and they were highly regarded because of it. You on the other hand were the child who chose to drop out of the academy rather than follow in their footsteps. When you decided to go back to the academy you made a promise with yourself to give it your all and make a name for yourself. Problem is how can you make that dream reality when you cant participate in missions?

With a deep sigh you followed after him towards your home, Sakaki was silently resting his head on your shoulder. He was really a sweet boy and always the first to hug you when you were upset, it didn't matter how hard you were hiding it he just knew. Looking at his sweet face made you think more about what Kakashi had said. Your parents had died on a mission and left you to figure out life and here you were fighting for the same opportunity. Your heart broke slightly at the mere thought of leaving your boys, you knew luckily they would be taken care of much better than you were but its still not fun to grow up without a mom.

As you got closer to the house you seemed to be gaining on Kakashi, you guessed he had noticed you following and slowed his pace. By the time you reached your street you were walking in unison side by side.

"I'm sorry" you said breaking the silence "I was being selfish and not thinking of your feelings or our boys" you gently stroked Sakaki's hair as you spoke.

"I don't think your selfish, we have just both lost parents at young ages and I don't want that for our boys. I'd prefer to put myself at risk rather than you, I don't think id be a good father without you" he said expressing his true fears.

"You love them too much not to be a good father, I know it would be hard for you though. We both have had to deal with grief and loss and handled it about the same, we both pulled away from those that loved us." You said understanding his feelings.

"I don't know if I would survive another loss to be honest, I lost all sense of myself after my team died, I was almost robotic and void of emotion. You and the rest of our team are the only reason I even gained a sense of normal again. Then you made me fall in love with you and gave me two handsome sons and now i feel fearful always that I'll lose it all and go back to how I was." He explained.

"Fear is normal but you cant let it control you, or us. Just live in the moment with me and enjoy the life we get to have" you urged.

"Okay I'll try, and I promise also to always come home to you no matter what" he said taking your hand in his. You were nearly to the house but he led you past it deciding he wanted to hold your hand longer. You both strolled around the neighborhood lightly chatting and laughing with the boys. They told you all about what they had done while you were gone, and how they even ate ramen with Uncle Iruka which made you laugh.

You finally made your way home and everyone curled up on the couch together and Kakashi read everyone a book. The boys ended up falling asleep curled in your arms and you leaned back into Kakashi's chest slowly falling asleep also.

A knock at the door woke everyone up and you stood up and gently sat the boys down on Kakashi so you could answer the door. Opening it you were surprised to see Genma with a letter in hand.

"Hey sorry to wake you" he said with a sweet smile.

"How did you know I was sleeping?" you lightly chuckled.

"Your hair is a bit of a mess" he laughed "And you have that adorable sleepy look in your eyes" his hand instinctively reached for your chin, his thumb gently slid over your pouty bottom lip.

"Genma" a gruff sounding voice said from behind you, Genma paused for a second before dropping his hand back down to his side.

"This is for you from Lady Tsunade, she is requesting you for a simple mission to a neighboring village" he said handing the letter to you.

"She just got back from a mission this morning isn't it a bit soon?" Kakashi said stepping up beside you and gently taking the letter from your hands.

"As I said it's a simple mission, and I'll be there as well so there is nothing to worry about" Genma said finally pulling his eyes away from you and focusing on Kakashi.

"I'll go talk to Tsunade and change her mind" Kakashi said shoving the letter into his pocket, and started to push past you.

"Maybe you should ask (Y/N) if she wants to do the mission first, before just assuming she doesn't." Genma said and blocked the doorway with his arm. His tone was surprisingly serious and it took you by surprise, Kakashi however reacted differently. Kakashi's eye narrowed at him but he stopped in place, he took a deep breath and turned towards you.

"Do you want to go on this mission?" he asked, his voice was strained from the tightness of his jaw.

"I don't know, I agree its very soon seeing as I just got back, but id like to hear what the mission is before turning it down. That's if she will even let me turn it down" you gently placed a hand on his chest and could feel how tense it was. He stood there looking at your face for a moment and you could feel him relax under your touch.

"I don't like this, feels too much like last time" he said under his breath.

"Except last time I was alone, this time I'll have a legendary Sannin and the man who was chosen to protect her, I think I'll be okay" you said with a smile. "I also haven't agreed to go yet so don't worry so much. I'll come right back" you said stepping around him towards Genma.

The two of you walked off into the Village toward the Hokage's office, neither of you saying much. Once inside her office Tsunade gave you the run down of the mission, it did sound very simple. She wanted to visit a friend in a neighboring village and needed to be escorted as much as she disagreed with that fact.

"So basically we just need to be travel companions incase something goes wrong?" you asked.

"Pretty much, I would've just taken Genma but he thought a second guard would be best. When considering candidates your name came up, I know you've just gotten back from a rather tough mission though. So I'll ask you, do you want to take this assignment or do I need to find someone else?" she narrowed her eyes at you and rested her chin on her hand, looking rather unamused at the whole conversation.

"You can count on me Lady Hokage" you said with a quick bow.

"Good, go get some rest we leave tomorrow afternoon" she said dismissing you with a wave of her hand. You quickly left her office and Genma followed you out and walked you all the way back to your house.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow" you said smiling up at him.

"I cant wait" he gently tucked some hair behind your ear and then trailed his fingers lightly down your jaw. The feeling made your heart flutter, which you had tried hard to avoid when it came to him.

"Bye princess" he called back as he walked away.

*Not the best chapter, kind of a filler but im setting up what will hopefully be a whole lot of angst mixed with action and emotion. Trying to get back on a regular schedule for writing but thats hard to do because im not really a "writer". These stories are something i decided to just start for fun one day and as much as i can lose myself in writing sometimes, other times i just have no desire to write. Part of that is probably my anxiety getting the best of me, worry over you not enjoying the story, or worry of it getting boring and people not wanting to read it anymore. I know thats stupid because i see everyones comments and likes and it makes me feel amazing, but anxiety is a monster sometimes. Ill do my best to get back on a normal schedule of writing though and making this story everything it can be. Thank you for reading and enjoying this story, if you havnt read my Haikyu! story check that one out also because it has plenty of fluff/smut to go around.