Just For Tonight

Should Do and Couldn't Do.

"Come on, skinny love, what happened here? Suckled on the hope in light brassiere."

Ashtyn~

My leg bounces as I stare at the last of my supply, not knowing if I should take it now or at least wait for Ashleigh to reply. It's been about five hours since I messaged her about it, fuck. Leaning back in my chair I stare at my computer a moment before looking back to the baggie. Fuck it.

Leaning forward, I take the small baggie and dump the last of it out onto my desk. This really would've sufficed as a bump, there's really not enough for a full line. Cutting it anyways, I grab a bill and roll it quickly so I can get through this next hit. Scrunching my nose, I get adjusted to the familiar burn as it enters my system.

Well, that was the last of it. Shaking my head slightly, I clean up everything before tossing the baggie into the trash. If Ashleigh doesn't hit me back soon, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. The only potential upside right here is that Christian is going to be in Arizona after tomorrow. God, how fucking horrible is that for me to think that's a good thing for my fiance? It'd be really nice to know what I should do right now.

Grabbing my phone, I pull up Alex's contact and hit FaceTime before propping my phone against my computer. There are only about three rings before it connects.

"Hey," Alex starts before furrowing his eyebrows, leaning into the camera, "Dude, I think you've got a bloody nose."

"What?" I ask confused, pulling my hand to my nose and feeling the warm liquid on my finger. "Shit, I'm sorry, my allergies have had me all weird. It's also dry as hell in my office recently." I lie as I reach over and grab a handful of tissues to stop the bleed.

"It happens," Alex comments chuckling a little, "What's up?"

Shaking my head a little as I hold the tissue to my nose, pinching the bridge of it hoping to stop the bleed quickly. "Just wanted to check in and talk, it's been a while since we've caught up."

"That's true," Alex says nodding, "Nothing's really changed for me, just continuing to work and play the field I guess."

Scoffing slightly, I shake my head, "Playing the field."

"I mean," Alex laughs, "I could still be entertaining Morgan for you."

"Oh god no," I reply laughing. "Speaking of relationships though," I comment, segwaying off of his response.

Pulling the tissue away I check on the status of my nose bleed before tossing the tissues, seems like it's fine. "Has Nat told you anything about Christian and me?"

Alex's look of confusion tells me that the answer is no, "No, what happened? Do I have to come fight him for you now or something?"

Shaking my head quickly, I say, "No, he's fine. He hasn't done anything."

"Alright," Alex answers nodding, "So what's up then?"

Sighing I take a deep breath, I can feel my high kicking in already. That might make this even easier to tell him, "I think I need to break things off with him."

Alex takes in what I've just told him, his lips pursed to the side slightly as he processes what I've told him. "Why?"

Shrugging I look at my hands, my engagement ring stares back at me, making me look back to the camera, "With Kacey being gone, I just don't see the point of trying to force anything. The only reason we were even together was because of her. If I'd never have gotten pregnant, odds are Christian and I would've never spoken to each other again after the gala. To be completely honest here, Alex, the only reason I even said yes to dating Christian in the first place was because I wanted more for Kacey than what I had gotten. Sure, he was nice and seemed to care after he was a complete tool, and it was nice being with him but. . ." I trail off.