Just For Tonight

Rambling.

"My lungs gave out as I faced the crowd. I think that keeping this up could be dangerous."

I've typed and deleted probably forty different messages now before I finally think I've got the one that works the best for me. "Hey Christian, it's Ashtyn. Something's come up that I'd really like to be able to talk to you about in person. I know you're obviously super busy especially in season but if you'd be able to find time in your schedule, I'd really appreciate it if we could meet up. Message me back on my personal, @AshtynKingston if/when you see this." That works. Direct, not about to completely freak him out reading it, catering to him and making him feel comfortable. Yeah, that should work. Hitting send I toss my phone back onto my desk and hold my hands on my head staring at the ceiling again. How the hell did I end up in this situation?

Before I can even think further my desk phone blares out. Letting out a sigh I sit up straight and roll my chair back into my desk again as I hit the middle button and accept the call. "Yeah?"

"You're two O'Clock is here," Keri lets me know her customer service voice in full swing, "Do you want me to send him in?"

"Uh," I grab my phone and open the front camera quick, ew gross angle, holding it up higher I check my face seeing if it's obvious I was just crying a little. "Yeah you can send him in, thank you." Business as usual.

Signing off on the last bit of paperwork for the night I catch my phone light up from where it's sat on my desk. I grab it and see the message request notification and my stomach drops to my feet, holy shit this is happening. My heart pounds in my chest as I unlock my phone and head into my personal Instagram everything around me is just silent to the point my ears are almost ringing having nothing to pull me back down as I see his name in the messages. Holy fuck I'm going to really have to tell him.

"Everything okay? I definitely am incredibly busy right now but if it's something super important I can probably figure out a way to make something work. What's up?"

Well, at least he seems nice about it I guess, what do I even reply? I should do it now while he's probably online right? The sooner that we actually get to have this conversation the more options we'll, well I will actually have. He deserves to have some input but it's my choice in the end. Sucking in a deep breath I let it back out through my lips, alright here goes I guess.

"Yeah, it is something that's super important but really not a conversation to be had over Instagram dm's or really anywhere that's not in person. Give me whatever time you're available and I'll figure out how to make it work. If you want we can meet at my office otherwise if you've got any suggestions I'm all ears," I send back and lean back in my chair waiting for a response. Almost immediately the little 'Christian Yelich is typing...' Pops up. 

"Alright yeah, we've got the rest of this road trip now then I'll be back in Milwaukee for the weekend series. Sunday's game is a day game so after that and press I'll be free. Usually, that's about 6ish give or take.  Where is your office is that like something you just have access to?" Scoffing I roll my eyes, yeah I have access its MY office.

"Given that it's my company, yes I do have access to MY office. Let me know then I guess when you're available and I'll send the info for my building. Thanks." I reply. That's all I can handle right now. I don't even think there's anything to respond to that now and I really don't mind if he doesn't. You know what, we're just going to ignore it. I'm going to get in my head and I might even get in there regardless.

Tossing my phone into my purse I shut down my computer and grab my keys so I can lock up while I head out. Life is fucking crazy and there's really not too much even happening other than the fact I'm pregnant right now with a stranger's fetus. Great.