Just For Tonight

Constants.

"For all the times they screwed us over. Let it play on and on and on, just another break-up song."

Neither Christian nor I speak as he drives me to the hotel I've booked for the night. His refusal to let me just order an uber was incredibly annoying however it did probably save me an extra twenty minutes getting here. This whole mess has been too damn much and I really don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. It's all so exhausting and I need a break. 

When Christian parks the car he jumps out right away and before I can even gather up my purse and everything he's opening my door for me. Unlike other times now he doesn't linger waiting to help me out but instead goes to the back and grabs my suitcase out of his backseat. This is just insane. Slinging my purse up on my shoulder I hold onto the door as I jump out to the pavement of the hotel parking lot.

Once Christian gets my suitcase out he shuts the door again before handing the handle to me as he leans against the truck and shoves his hands in his pockets. "Do you want me to give you a ride to the airport tomorrow?" Christian offers.

Quickly I shake my head, "No, there's a shuttle that can get me there just fine." 

Christian lets out a small huff as he shakes his head once, "Well can you at least let me know when you get to the airport tomorrow? And when you get home?" 

Nodding slightly I reply, "Yeah, I guess I can probably manage that." 

"Okay, thank you," He tells me pushing his hand through his hair. "I guess see you soon then?" I nod grabbing my bag again about to head in before he talks again, "Can I at least give you a hug goodbye?"  Of all the things he could've asked, that's what he went with. I just nod, once again letting go of the suitcase handle as he wraps his arms around me and I wrap mine around him. 

A moment passes before he leans down and kisses the top of my head. Not sure what his angle is with this given how upset I still am over everything but the safety net I've still got in his arms is almost scary given everything now. I just take in a deep breath getting a hint of his cologne again as I do. Funny how quickly that's become one of my favorite scents. I can't think based on this anymore though. My heart and probably uterus want me to stay but I know that's not what's right right now. If I'd stay, we'd never get anywhere and it'd never be a healthy relationship. I'd have let too much shit slide and seem like it's okay. 

"Get home safe okay," He tells me before we pull apart again.

Grabbing my suitcase for the last time in our interaction all I answer with is an, "Okay." Before I head into my hotel for the night.

"I'm back at my apartment," Is all I can manage to send back updating Christian as I wheel my suitcase through the door and into Alex and my kitchen. 

"The fuck are you doing back here already?" Alex asks his mouth full of what looks to be a turkey sandwich. God, I'd kill for one of those if I could eat deli meat. "Aren't you supposed to be getting MVP pipe again right about now?"

"Ha," Is all I let out as I shake my head.

"You okay?" Alex asks picking up on my mood making me just shake my head again before I completely lose my composure. Seconds later Alex has his arms around me just letting me sob into him. None of this shit is making sense and I don't know how to dig myself out of this trench I've seemed to have fallen into. 

Once I've calmed down a little Alex finally asks, "What happened?" 

Shaking my head I roll my eyes at the thought of it all, "Well for starters I got knocked up by a fucking stranger." I almost laugh at my own joke as Alex lets out a chuckle, "His mom assumed the same shit about me as he did, and he didn't say shit about it because it was in his words embarrassing to admit to acting like he did."