The Pomegranate Society

Thirty-nine: Alina Starkov

Thirty-nine:

Alina Starkov

She didn't go to Aleksander's or the society clubhouse after the opera. Nor did she go find Nikolai afterwards. When Aleksander told her to go find him, she instead went to her and Genya's apartment. Calling it "home" now seemed wrong. It wasn't home. It was one of the cages Genya had set up for her.

Alina went to her room, took off the dress she'd bought with Nikolai, and changed into her Royal Ravka University sweatshirt and pants. Then, she pulled out the contract that Aleksander had had her sign. She'd kept it on her desk in a folder, like it wasn't anything important. Then she sat on her bed, and stayed up all night, reading over it.

There was a knock on her door. "Alina?" David's voice came from outside. "Are you alright?"

Alina hesitated. She hadn't heard Genya come home, but that didn't mean that David hadn't been sent by her to. She got up off of the bed and opened her door. "Did you know?" she asked.

David hesitated. "Genya said she was doing what was best for you, Alina. Every girl wants the handsome Prince, and if you didn't marry him..."

"She would have to," Alina finished.

"I love her," David said helplessly, "I think I have since that first day I saw her at the library."

Alina sighed. "I hope she's worth it, David. I hope she treats you well. Because that's not what she did to me. David----"

"Yes?" he asked, and looked so helpless as he said it.

"Don't tell anyone you talked to me," she said, "if you're my friend too, just don't tell anyone, alright?"

"Alright," he said.

It was early morning. Alina should have been getting ready to go to school, but she knew they would look for her there. She didn't want to talk to any of them. Not Genya, not Nikolai, and certainly not Aleksander. She closed the door, and got dressed in actual clothes, slipping on a jacket. She left her cell phone, but took her wallet, slipping it into her pocket.

There was a fire escape outside her window. She crawled out onto it, heading down the stairs. She didn't dare go out front. Since she had started Nikolai, there were reporters every day outside and she didn't want to see them. Or them to see her.

Alina thought about going to the hospital, to see Mal. But they'd look for her there too. So she got on a train, using cash she had left over from a tutoring job she'd taken the other week. She went to Keramzin. There was no real point, it was just that it was the only place she could think of to go that they wouldn't.

Alina went to the old playground outside of the orphanage where she and Mal used to spend hours. She sat on the swing, and stared out, not knowing what to anymore. Mal wasn't alive. Not really. He was being kept awake by a machine. If she let him go, she could be free of all of this. She could walk away and not be Queen or Aleksander's or anyone's but herself. But that would mean letting her person go. And she didn't know if she could do that.

A shadow fell over her. She expected it would be Aleksander. Instead, she looked up to see Nikolai. "Hey," he said, taking a seat in the empty swing next to her, "you disappeared last night. Gave everyone a real fright. We thought you'd been kidnapped."

"I'm sorry," she apologized, "I shouldn't have left without saying anything but---"

"Genya said you weren't feeling well? Something about food poisoning," Nikolai said.

Alina winced. Genya had covered for her. Of course she did. She had to keep up with her lies, didn't she? "Yeah," she said, "I ate from the cafeteria at the hospital yesterday when I visited Mal. Bad idea."

He smiled and reached out to stroke back a strand of her dark hair. "Well," he said, "I'm glad I found you. I know last night was a lot to unload.....people like to think of royals as being a fairytale, but we're a little bit more gossip rag than anything. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Morozova, but father's really weird about it. He doesn't like people to know he has bastards, unless he tells them. I tried convincing them not to make you sit next to each other, but Mother insisted it would be inappropriate."

Alina took a deep breath. "It's fine," she said, "that actually wasn't what made me leave."

"Oh," he said, "that's good. Because I invited Aleks to the Solstice family vacation. I thought it might be nice for you to know someone else besides Genya."

"Ah," Alina said, "that's...nice."

"I mean, you work for him. You like him don't you?" Nikolai said.

She shrugged. "He's just my Professor. I basically help him grade his papers and get his coffee. That's it."

"Okay, well, good. Because he actually liked you! He was worried when you went off. You should have seen him. He wanted to call the stad watch."

Alina blushed. "Well, that wasn't necessary. I was fine."

"You could have called me," he said, "are you sure it was food poisoning?"

She hesitated. "I was just realizing that when we get engaged.... this is going to be my life now. It wasn't a bad thing it was just a moment of.... I won't get to have a lot of moments by myself anymore."

"So you had to come here," he said, "home."

"As close as it gets," she said.

"That makes sense," he said, "I also wondered if you weren't worrying about how you'd take care of Mal if you married me. Alina, he's your family. We're going to take care of him the same way we'll take care of you."

Alina found herself wrapping him tightly in a hug. "Nikolai," she said "Nikki...."

He looked up at her, smiling. "I think that's the first time you've called me by my nickname."

"That's the first time it felt right doing it," she confessed, "you don't know....you don't know what you saying that means to me."

"Just," he said, "just promise me you won't run off with him if he wakes up, alright?"

"I told you," she said, "I'm all about the finer things in life now."

She kissed him then, and he smiled at her.

"I'm glad to hear it," he said, "let's get you home, huh?"

"Um," she said, "do you think....I could stay with you?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

She nodded. "Genya and David keep on having really loud sex and it's getting awkward." It was only half true, but she was feeling bitter, and spiteful, and didn't like the idea of going home to the apartment.

"I'll....talk with father and mother," he said, "we'll see what they say. If they agree, I don't see any reason why not. You know they'll think an engagement is coming, don't you?"

"I was hesitant because of Mal," she confessed, "I didn't want to leave him behind and I thought that me starting my own life meant leaving him behind. But I realize starting my own life doesn't mean I'm leaving him behind. It just means sharing it with more people, and I think he'd be okay with that."

"Well, that's good," said Nikolai, lacing his fingers through hers, "but I've got to tell you Alina Starkov, I'm getting pretty excited about not sharing you with anyone."

"Me too," she said.

He kissed her there on the playground, and then together they got up. He wrapped his arms around her and they walked to the car together. When Alina got in, she stared at Keramzin, saying goodbye to her past, as she went into her future.