FORBIDDEN LOVE

It's me

Kindergarten:
"Missis Bay, if Jayden fights again with boys, I will make him stay at home forever."
"We are speaking with him, I promise."
I always started to fight when I saw a boy was rude with a girl. But I couldn't explain to my parents why I was so aggressive. At home I was punished by my parents. Most children could be beaten or put into the corner or they were less of something important. My parents bought me the piano and sent me to the musical school. I had to practice every day. My father was sitting next to me and if I played bad, he hit my fingers by his whip. Then I played the drums, the guitar, the piano and knew musical literacy. I even loved playing, but I wanna play the violin, but parents didn't buy this instrument. The music was pacification for me.

School:
"Mister Bay, your son can't control himself. He has fought with Henry Miller."
"But his study is good, Mister Watson. My son told me that he had fought because of his sister. Henry, that boy, offended her."
"I see, but it's not the good way to solve this problem. Explain, please, to your son that all problems can be solved by words, orally."
"Ok, sir."
Father came out of the principal's office and said:
"Alright, son. Let's go home. Mister Watson doesn't understand anything. You acted right, but you must stop in time, ok?"
I nodded and followed for him slowly.

College:
"Jayden, you are not a child any more, that's why I won't call your parents. But you must stop fighting." - Professor Crooly tried to fresh my brain.
"But they was bad with my friend."
"You know, Tracy is light-minded girl, sometimes she deserves that what happen to her."
"What? She is a girl, I'm a man and I need to protect her any time and any way. You cannot say like that, you are professor. You shouldn't judge your students."

Only ring let me do what I want. Fighting here was like a praise, not punishment.

When love to Josephine came to my heart, I didn't believe. Then, at the beach, I understood that I had something wrong inside of me. I was like a robot which system had broken and it started to destroy itself. First, women came into my life, then weed. I was suffering from my demons, they ruined me speaking about bad my behaviour, and seducing my own little sister. I was alone with my problem, Toby was not my friend, parents didn't understand me, Jo was my love.

I could not control my aggression, I could not control my feelings to Jo. I was worthless.
I tried to forget a part of my life. Tracy was around me, but I felt sick when she touched me. I had a lot of time to pay attention on Grace, she was all the time around me, but it was discreetly. By that time, I had learnt to stop my ill-manners, but as for emotions to Jo, no. When I saw her happiness with that mulatto guy, I went to the bar and came out of there blind drunk. Grace helped me to get to my house and we had a night which I didn't remember. After that, she informed me about her pregnancy. I was disappointed myself, how I could do that recklessly.

Wedding:
Till the last moment I wanna cancel everything. But Jo persuaded me not to do it. She convinced that our connection was a mistake. She loved Gabriel, but in bottom of my heart I was sure that was not true. When she appeared drunk at the party, I was glad. I wanna clear the situation, but I couldn't, I was really coward. Jo was right as usual. I thanked Gab because Jo was shining like a diamond next to him.

Ultrasound of the sex of a child.
Grace begged me to come with her. I was thinking about it for a long time, but I agreed. I asked the God to give a daughter. If I couldn't protect my sister, I could protect my daughter. The doctor said about baby girl, I was crying. Just whispering "Thank you."

Discussion the name.
I remembered the time when my family was waiting for Josephine. My family again offered Juliet or Jessica. My wife was for Greta. I wanna see Josephine. But everybody was against it. But when my daughter was born in August, 11, my wife felt not so good and I had to registrate the name of our daughter. I promised my wife about Greta. But after two weeks, she knew about Jo and was too angry with me.
My daughter was like my sister. Her face reminded me Jo's face. I decided to go to San Francisco and find her. I really missed her. And now I'm in jail. That's my short story of my life. My tattoos are so suitable for this place.