FORBIDDEN LOVE

Pregnancy

I recovered physically, but mental health was in disorder. All I wanted to see was my hometown and my lovely rock. I decided to go to my parents' house. Being in the hospital I called my mum. Kim didn't answer, but a few minutes later, she recalled.
"Honey, have you called me? I was in the garden and didn't hear you calling. Is something wrong? You call us so seldom."
"Everything is ok, but I wanna go home." - I tried to hide my shaking voice.
"It's wonderful, dear!" - She seemed happy to this news. "How is Gabriel? Are you ok?"
"Don't worry, mum. We're ok." - My mum wished me being home soon and we stopped our talk and I cried hard.

I came home to pack my things, Gab was sitting at the lunch table trying to read some news articles and looking at me and my way from the wardrobe to my luggage. 

"Darling, is it necessary to go?" - He started unconfident. 

"Yeah, I'm..... I'm.... I need to think about my life. It's so confused and I think my birth place can help me to relieve my soul." - I was nervous and going on to fold my dresses. 

"Will he be there too?" - He escaped meeting my eyes. 

"Who are you talking about?" - I stopped in the middle of our big living room.

He stood up sharply, his lips were shaking from anger. "Don't be silly, Josephine! You know who I am talking about, of course, your lovely brother. Go, sure! He is waiting to fuck you in all holes." - His voice started to cry. I couldn't bear it and screamed: "Stop, Gabriel! How could you speak like that? I've lost a baby, we've lost a baby, I think I don't deserve such treatment!" - I dropped my pink dress to the bag, sat on the sofa, covered the eyes by my hands, but I had no tears, all tears left in the hospital.

Gab was defeated. He came to me, sat next to and tried to calm me down.
"Jo, I'm sorry for my words. Now I'm ashamed. I didn't have to say like that."
"It's ok. I totally don't understand why you are still living with me?" - I leaned to his chest.
"Because I love you. You know, my son adores you. He asks me all the time when I will take you for fishing. I explain to him that you love cars more than fish." - He drew me to his body tightly.
His perfume filled my lungs and I remembered that time when I realised my pregnancy for the first time in December.
My interesting discovery didn't appear through the vomit or sickness. My tastes were the same. I felt like a normal person. But when I smelled men's perfume, my lips became dry and I was dying from thirst.
That time I had to compete with the most important rival from New Zealand. It was my dream to win. Before start, me and Ben made a test drive. When I met Ben, he had never used any perfume, but after his meeting with his wife, he started to put it on him much pungent smell. He got into my car, said to me to go, but my mouth was like a desert. It was my first feature of my first pregnancy. I had never felt the same since that time.

"My darling, it's time to go." - Gab took my bags and out.
I was in my car when the favourite Jay's music was on. I flipped the radio station, but then decided to listen  and check my feelings. If the song hurts you, it means you feel something and cannot let it go. If it doesn't, it means you are ok and ready to conquer a new top. Britney Spears with her song "Someday" made me cry. It was slow, sad music about a baby born.

Arriving to my hometown I found out the Jay's car.
Nooooo! I wanna come back, but my dad knocked my car window and smiled.
"Are you sure that you wanna do it?" - My head spoke like a doctor where my baby left me.
I got out of my car and asked: "What did you say, sorry I was thinking over."
"Are you sure that you wanna go home?"- He sneered.
"Yeah, today is already dark to come back." - I tried to joke, but inside I was depressed. I wanna see Jayden but I denied it. I lied to myself, I lied to everybody. Of course, I wanna him.