Rhythms and Skies

Thirty-third Step

I rested my head on Flyn's shoulder who's sleeping peacefully beside. I silently thanked him in my mind for what he did last night.

Nakatulong naman ako habang kinakantahan niya. Pag-gising ko naroon parin siya sa gilid, una siyang nagising sa akin. Hinintay lang daw ako na magising. I woke up with a light head but heavy eyes.

At kaninang umagahan ay naisip kong isama sila ngayon sa Batangas. Noong sinabi kong samahan nila ako sa Batangas ay naintindihan agad ni Indigo kaya habang nasa kwarto ako ay pinuntahan ako nito.

"Lilac," Tawag pa niya.

"Hmm?"

"You know what I'm thinking, right?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure? Are you ready?" Hinawakan nito ang magkabilang braso ko. "You don't need to push yourself, you know that right?"

"Of course." I answered simply.

Pero hindi ako mapakali kaya nagsalita ako ulit. I smiled bitterly. "Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam Indigo. Hindi ko alam kung kaya kong buksan 'yung sakit kasi I am healing na e...I think. The scars slowly stop bleeding or was I just escaping?"

Mapakla akong tumawa. "If I won't do this today, when? Kailan ko kakayanin? Kailan niyo malalaman? Kapag wala na ako? If you'll stop me today I might not tell anyoone about my story forever. not even you, not even our friends. Maybe, I might just keep it inside my memory."

"I'm not stopping you, Lac. I am just worried about you." He's sincere, I can tell.

Bahagya kaming napatalon sa kinauupan namin ng dumaan kami sa baku-bakung daan. My head hits Flyn chin kaya napa-aray ito.

Napa-ayos ako ng upo at tinignan itong nakangiwi. I held his chin and whispered sorry, nakapikit pa rin siya at salubong ang kilay. He slightly nodded then his hand went to my head, pulling me closer to him and letting me rest my head on his shoulder again.

I closed my eyes and dive in to sleep.

I woke up again with loud noises that I am immune already. They are eating inside the car and jamming with the song, ofcourse. Fierce won't be complete without music, wherever and everywhere.

"Daan tayong flower shop ha." Paalala ko habang kumakain ng burger.

However, Indigo said he bought na already while I was sleeping. He even added na he bought it alone at nilagay sa likod ng kotse.

As much as I want to go to sleep after eating but I couldn't anymore because my body isn't cooperating with my brain.

Gising na gising kasi ang diwa ko.

In the end I just rest my head on the window and watch the trees passed by and the skies in glee. The sun's out shine and bright. Medyo masakit nga sa mata kung titigan e.

When the road became familiar my pulse became faster than it's abnormality. I know, I know what to do, I need to calm down, I need to close my eyes, have a deep breath, do my breathing exercise, then tell myself everything will turn out good.

I did that.

I already did it but it's just...nonsense. For real.

So, I just shrugged it off and didn't think too much about what I'll suppose to say.

If I'm planning to unfold myself to them, I shouldn't act who's not really my persona. I thought, mas mabuting malaman ng mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo ang kung sino ka talaga, kung sino ka sa likod ng maskara.

Indigo swiftly parked the car infront of the museleo. I glanced at them except Indigo who's been here already. Ginagala lang nila ang tingin nila sa paligid. Tinaggal ko nalang ang tingin sa kanila at naunang lumabas. Dumiretso ako sa likod ng kotse para kuhanin ang apat na bouquet ng bulaklak.