Be With Me Then (Then Series #5)

Chapter 46

Chapter 46 

Broken 

Loving myself first is my main priority dahil yun ang alam kong dapat gawin for me to love truly. Yung hindi ko na kailangan maliitin yung sarili ko that I don't deserve to be with someone because I am too damaged. I also want to be okay. 

I want to fix myself with the help of me not anyone else... Even Renzo. 

Everything is fix at naayos na yung nangyari but there is still people na ang dami pa ding nasasabi sa'kin and not just to me but also to my family pero ang mahalaga lang naman sa'min alam pa din nila yung totoo. At hindi pa din namin alam kung sino ba yung naglabas ng mga yun sa media. That person is good o talagang hindi lang namin mahanap. 

Napanood ko yung interview sa mga Rheinfords and it breaks my hearts seeing Renzo answering every question without any emotions in his eyes. 

"So Mr. Rheinford, Irene Mae Vargas said na wala na daw kayo, is that true or she really just used you?" Alam ko naman na ang isasagot niya pero sobrang sakit. 

"Can you all stop saying nonsense about her? You don't know her just like how her friends know her and how I know her... And kung gagamitin niya ako I am willing to get used by her. But she is not like that. You all don't know her. And yes, we are not together anymore and it's my choice. I don't deserve a girl like her. If you all will just know her." Umiling naman ako doon because it is my choice. At anong he don't deserve me? Ako yun, I don't deserve him! Sinalo niya na naman ako! He makes people hate him. Lagi na lang ako ang iniisip niya.   

And after that interview naayos na din naman ang lahat but to what is happening to me and Renzo. I just realize na meron talagang mali sa relasyon namin una pa lang. Not just because I am damaged but because he always give lagi siyang nagbibigay at natatakot ako na baka maubos siya. 

I don't want that to happen. Gusto ko pati ako nagbibigay at handang sumugal sa kung anong meron kami. 

Months had past and I ask for a break from my work to spend time with my sister because she gave birth to a baby boy and I promised to stay with her at hindi pa din naman ako handang bumalik sa trabaho ko even if I know some people are also waiting for me. 

I am also meeting my friends hindi nga lang ganun kadalas because they are all focus on their married life at si Ate Chloe naman bantay sarado na ng asawa niya dahil buntis. At alam ko din how they are always trying so hard para lang hindi magkrus ang landas namin. 

After everything happen wala na akong narining pang balita tungkol sa kanya because my friends and family is trying so hard not to mention him. To the whole month I always tried so hard to be okay and help myself. 

I am learning how to be not affected by everything. Ayoko na ulit bumigay dahil sa isang problema na kakaharapin ko. I want to be better for myself and I will admit but also for him. How I wish that if I am okay I can still be with him... Kung pwede pa. 

"Irene, when do you plan on going back to your work? Kasi Irene, alam ko na kahit hindi mo sabihin you also miss working." Ate Mendel said while her baby is in her arms and she is making it sleep. 

"I am, but I want to show everyone the different Irene, The brave Irene." I said. 

"You are brave enough, didn't you know that?" Ate Mendel said and I smiled at her. I know I am brave enough to handle everything. Alam ko na yun but I want them to see the Irene who is fixed. Yung ako na okay na. 

I'm on my way to the agency to talk to Mia and Oliver because I decided to go to work next month and when I arrive at ng makapasok ng building I saw Chantal and I saw her eyes before she wear her sunglasses and she just smile at me and said bye at doon pa lang alam kong may problema siya.