sunrise no sunshine | Buenvenidez Series #3 [ COMPLETED ]

KVD: Journal Entry #19

14th of April

There's on good thing I realized today and that is,

No matter how the day turned to be, whether it was cloudy and gloomy, a sun still shines and that sun is me. I am my own sun and my own light, and the theater is the universe where I belong. 

What I felt last night was actually enough for me to ditch my passion for my own sake but I didn't. Instead, I showed up, smiled, performed and did what I was supposed to do and it is to shine in front of the people while doing the best thing that could ever make me happy.

I bet you've seen how happy I am whenever I am performing. I love the adrenaline and the hype. I love the spotlight so much. I love the crowd.. but above all, I love myself and I did it not to show them what I got but because I love being here.

And I was clear when I told you that I don't need the saving. You are not my knight in shining armor and I am neither the damsel in distress. You may have seen me cry but that's just because I am overwhelmed by all the emotions. I didn't cried because of the people.. but I cried because I am proud of myself for overcoming such fear.

Or maybe I cried because I like you too much that it's starting to hurt me. Either way, stop saving me. That's not what I wanted from you. I just want one thing.

Because I am always wronged for being who I am but I'm still hoping that one day, if time permits, you'll seek for who I actually am because that will be the only time I'm going to let you see what the people doesn't know about me.

I am always better than those words, Cai.

I am me.

I am Kestrielle.