sunrise no sunshine | Buenvenidez Series #3 [ COMPLETED ]

35

"Are you breaking up with me?"

It was that one question I was so afraid to answer but because of the pain I was feeling, I was able to.

Tumango ako habang nakatitig ng diretso sa mga mata niya. His eyes are blank, almost out of emotions. I can't read him. I don't know what he's feeling.

Basta ako, nasasaktan ako.

"But what could I do if I wanted to be with you during this time?" He asked.

I shrugged and shut my eyes. Pilit kong kinakalma ang sarili ko sa pag-iyak dahil ayaw ko nang maging mahina sa harapan niya.

"I know I failed on one thing and I broke your trust but please let me be with you during this time.. because I know this isn't easy for you.." He explained.

Hindi ako sumagot. Ayaw kong tumango at pumayag. Ayaw ko ring umiling. Bahala siya sa desisyon niya.. basta ako sinabi ko ang nararamdaman ko.

I may put behind every good things we had.. and it's okay. For now.. I just want to consider myself. I want to feel my pain.. I want to end my facade.. because I am not fine.. I am not even sure if I will be fine on the next days.

Saka isa pa, masyado nang mainit ang media sa aming dalawa. I don't want to drag his career anymore just because I wanted to live in private. I don't want him to sacrifice his career just to be with me.

It's not worth it.

Kasi hindi ko naman kayang ibalik sa kanya 'yon.

Kasi pagod din ako para makita ko ang lahat ng ginagawa niya para sa akin.

Kasi pakiramdam ko, kailangan na muna naming matapos.

Hindi ko naman kasi kayang ipakita na masaya ako kahit hindi na.

Hindi na talaga ako masaya, e.. kahit ilang ulit kong isipin na si Caius 'yan.. si Caius 'to.. mahal niya ako.. mahal ko siya.. kahit ilang beses ko isipin, hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako masaya.

Siguro kasi sobrang sakit.

Kaya ganoon. Kaya ganito.

At okay lang.. okay lang na masaktan ako.. kung sa paraang 'to, mas mapapahalagahan ko ang nararamdaman ko.. ayos lang.

Ayos lang masaktan kung kapalit noon ay ang katahimikan na mahahanap ko lang sa sarili ko at hindi sa ibang tao.

He was just a part of my peace. The instrument of calmess and serenity.. but the real peace, the unending one will be only found through me.

Sa sarili ko lang..

Mag-isa at tahimik akong bumalik sa chapel. Tanya was already outside waiting for me. I saw her eyes went to Caius who was tailing me from behind. Doon lang siya medyo kumalma.

Nakita ko rin na nandoon na si Sofia. Tahimik at pinapanood kami ni Caius na lumapit kung nasaan sila kaya tinaasan ko siya ng kilay lalo na nang makita ko siyang naglakad papalapit para salubungin si Caius.

"Caius, the news about you isn't going well. It might affect your upcoming concert.." narinig kong sambit niya.

"Not now, Sofia." Si Caius.

"You should release a statement. Kayo ni Kestrielle."

"What for? There's nothing to explain. We don't owe them anything." Kalmadong paliwanag ni Caius.

"The photos are still spreading online despite of the airport incident. Why don't you just tell the truth to the public? or just deny your relationship para matapos na 'to? With all these issues, you're just putting an end to your career."