A quiet evening walking through town unexpectedly turns into a dramatic incident that turns Jungkook's life upside down.
Amnesiac, unnamed and untamed girl finds her way into the young man's heart.
However with a dark past catching up to them, coun...
His eyes stared right into hers. Their fingers remained intertwined together, and their faces close enough to have their breaths mingled together. Her eyes flickered down to his lips and back to his eyes, a nervous smile gracing her features. Surely they had reached the point where closeness no longer formed an issue in their relationship and behavior towards one another.
She could feel her heart beating faster than ever, and her mind getting all fuzzy, feeling like this precious and important moment had finally come, a moment she had obviously fantasized, daydreamed about in between dates and during work time. But then don't we all?
Yes, she wanted this. She wanted to kiss the man standing so close to her and show her love in a different and more intimate way, no matter how much a kiss seemed to mean so very little to most people around her. No matter what others may be saying, it did mean a great deal to her.
But the man before her felt different. His hands did not let go of hers. He held her gaze, and did not break the closeness between them. However his heart did not beat any faster, and his breathing was steady as well as his mind. Something felt wrong to him. All of it felt terribly terribly wrong. Why?
Why did his eyes silently reproach her for being who she was and not someone else...?
Why did his mind refuse to acknowledge the purity and beauty of the eyes staring at him ever so gently? Why did it constantly replace it with the memory of a pair of hazel eyes,... both filled with such complex and intense emotions?
Why?
Why did the pain in his chest increase to the point where his breathing stopped and he realized it all...
There was no way he could let this happen.
She had leaned in, and he'd let her. Before it could happen he looked down, turning his face away and shutting his eyes with guilt and annoyance towards himself.
"Jungkookie?"the girl spoke up, stunned and hurt at the rejection. He stepped back, still holding her hands, and looked up into her eyes once more.
"I'm so sorry..."he let out in a whisper, already hating himself for the tears which now stained her cheeks.
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Jungkook threw a punch. Then another one, harder. And again, even harder than the previous one. And again and again and again, frowning and throwing his emotions into the workout. He panted for a few seconds before ravingly pouring all he had into the punching and kicking, showing no mercy.
He grunted as the eyes appeared on the floating memory of her face, smiling at him half mockingly, half tenderly. A two faced person...
...was all she was... had been...
Sweat prickled his forehead and covered both sides of his face from his temples to his jaw. His eyes glared at the bag, and he readied himself for the side kick, spinning fast before precisely aiming for the center.
He grunted as his ankle hit a sore spot and he tumbled to the floor, panting. The young singer shut his eyes closed for a second, trying to steady his breathing and push away the thoughts running through his mind. The voice, the face, these eyes, looking at him like that... He groaned and ravingly hit the floor with his fist.
How could it still hurt that much after so long?
He had rejected someone for the second time, unable to get rid of that wrenching feeling of yearning for someone else. Not just anyone else.
Her.
He stood up, wiping the sweat off his face with his shirt and going back to punching the bag with all his might.
When a searing pain shot through his arm, he snapped and tried the side kick again, simply out of stubbornness and frustration. His ankle once more refused to cooperate and he crashed to the floor laying that way for a few seconds, before sitting up fast, panting and looking at the wall helplessly. Why did he feel so lost and hurting? It should be over.
He should have moved on by now. He was tired of the pain. His hand reached for his heart.. and his fingers fumbled the material of his sweatshirt on that spot, as though trying to ease the pain. His head hung down as his knees folded together closer to his chest, and his arm wrapped itself around them.
How to not feel?
How could he fix all the broken pieces? How could he do that, when he didn't even know where to collect them?
Like many around him, Jungkook believed in fate, and destiny. He kept questioning how he deserved such an ill fate.
What terrible deed had he committed that he would find himself so helplessly and painfully broken to the soul?
The person who was supposed to love him more than anything... that one soul he easily and gleefully identified to his own. What could he do now, that he was left all alone, and hurting?
"Omma..."he whimpered like a young child, hugging his knees to his chest, feeling more helpless than ever.
One of the worst part of being in this situation was the state of utter confusion and constant questioning he was in.
Why? How? What did he miss? Where did he completely mess up? Then again... what could he do to stop the pain, to get over it and move on?
No one truly understood how he felt, and he knew that had to he one of the reasons why he failed twice in moving on with another relationship. Both girls were beautiful, kind and fun to hang out with, but he just couldn't...
Something always seemed to stand in the way. He refused to enter a relationship where he could not entirely be there for her. These relationships would have both been incomplete and cheap with only half of a commitment.
This wasn't who he was. Jungkook always gave everything he had when starting something as significant as this. As for loving... when it's an issue... the best thing is to end it before it starts. Love had always been a prominent matter, and should not be taken carelessly.
When that love included two young hearts profoundly meant for each other, and beating like one and the same... everything was different and on another level.
The pain was heartrending, and the tears meaningful.
.......
Little did he know the same heavy tears soaked the dark oversized sleeve covering the mouth of a girl whose heart ached with the same pain, but guilt added on top of it. She buried her face in her hands which lay on top of her knees she had folded to her chest. She shut her watery hazel eyes as exhaustion washed over her and once again, she welcomed the darkness of sleep.
