who Are You [Todobaku]

5 stages of grief

There are five stages of grief

Denial

"What?"

"Were sorry shoto he passed"

"You guys are funny" he chuckles painfully as the two who were sat down on the sofa gaze at him with eyes filled with worry "like really FUCKING FUNNY I SWEAR"

"Shoto" aizawa tries to reach out to his student. Guiltily trying to cover the whole reason as to why they got into the basement in the first place.

Shoto didnt need to know. Not for now.

"NO DONT YOU FUCKING SAY MY NAME" he pushes the hand away from him tears forming in the corner of his eyes but the smile on his face never left as the pain in his chest grew unbearable to the point where he felt like he was caged. "BECAUSE YOU ARE A MESSED UP DUDE MAKING STUPID FUCKING JOKES BECAUSE YOURE A LONELY SHIT"

"Look i know its hard but-" the teacher cringed at his own words, he knows better than anyone of how hard it is and he still manages to mess up over and over again.

"whats hard hm? This shit you came up with?"

"I didnt come up with shit endeavor is dead shoto he's dead im sorry but he is"

"No"

"Shoto"

"THAT FLAMING SHIT ISNT DEAD SO STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE ME"

"Shoto" he says again, his voice filled with worry and had a gentlness shoto always gave in to.

"He cant be dead you dont understand"

"But he is shoto im sorry"

"No i- he cant HE CANT HE CANT FUCKING DO THIS"

"Shoto im so sorry i wish it was different im so sorry im so sorry shoto" he says as he extends his hands in hopes of a hug, or something.

"Im leaving  dont fuckin follow me you sorry ass old man"

He storms out, breathing heavily with a lump in his throat, endeavor wasnt dead, he couldnt have been.

Shoto was stuck. Couldnt think straight, his knees were to give out at any seconds and his conciousness was slipping right out of his fingers.

He had no right, no right to die, not after the shit he put him through, not before he gave him a piece of his mind.

He couldnt die when he still had grudges against him, now that all the barriers were up the memories that were purposfully blocked off resurfaced. He remembered everything . All the shit in the basement, all the punishments and the late night trainings.

Everything was clear in his head. And now that it was, he wanted to talk to endeavor.

But he couldnt.

Because Endeavor was gone.

And Endeavor was dead.

Dead

______________

A few days passed, no reaction whatsoever, nothing. Shoto would turn down any alligations anything that had to do with endeavor. He would change the subject, stay in his room for hours, isolate himself. He would do anythung to stop talking about endeavor.

Because he wasnt dead.

Not now.

Not yet.

Shoto smiled, and laughed. Kept his funny facad on. They called friends, his boyfriend too, desperate to get something out of him. But shoto didnt accept the fact that he was gone, and aizawa knew why.