Song Remains the Same

Chapter 6: Panic Room Blues

"It's hard to see a perfect forest through so many splintered trees."
- Poe

After shouting herself hoarse and no reappearance of Castiel, Alex resorted to fuming about being handcuffed to the gun rack. Knowing that her brothers and Bobby would be walking into a death trap with no warning left her in quite the state.

She tried to get the handcuffs off, at first by grabbing a shotgun to shoot the chain in half—but as luck would have it, none of the guns in reach were loaded and the ammo sat out of reach on the other side of the room. She tried awkwardly pounding at the chain with the butt of a gun, but that didn't work either. Unfortunately, no amount of tugging or twisting did anything to the chain or the rack.

Forced to give up, she muttered foul things aimed at Castiel for a bit then became sullen in resignation. She would just have to wait and hope that Bobby and her brothers would be able to make it to safety before any more ghosts attacked. She focused on deep breathing to stay calm. Losing her shit wasn't gonna help anyone.

After a while, she began fiddling with the ring on her index finger out of habit. Dad's silver wedding band. Even though Mary Winchester had been dead for years, Alex had never seen Dad without this ring on his finger—and being a closet romantic, she had always found it beautiful. When Dad died, Alex had taken the ring as her own. After getting it resized, it never left her hand. Most memories of her dad were bitter and tainted by pain of some kind. But he was still her father. And she had loved him despite everything.

John Winchester was many things. Negligent as a parent was one of them; a sore disappointment was another. During Alex's childhood, he'd stayed gone for long periods, missing important moments and shirking his fatherly duties all while placing Dean in the unfair position of primary caretaker. Yes, Dad saved their lives countless times—but he also endangered their lives just as many. However. One thing he'd never done was step out on them forever. Over the years, Alex had come to view that as loyalty.

When Sam left for college, things changed in the Winchester family. Dad had some kind of wake-up call, and for the next few years he had finally included Alex in most of the hunts and finally treated her somewhat like an adult. Instead of getting left behind or playing getaway driver or doing long-range surveillance, she became a full-fledged part of the family business and had finally seen her dad more than once every few weeks. They still hadn't been that close—it was hard to be close to a father who kept you at arm's length—but father and daughter had nevertheless been making tiny little steps toward maybe, possibly undoing a lifetime of damage. Then, he disappeared. His death had followed not too long after that.

A lifetime later, Alex still wasn't sure how to describe the way she felt about Dad or the resentments and betrayal she still carried in his name. But she did wish he could have heard her speak. Just once.

Outside the panic room, a sudden sound alerted Alex to company. Her thoughts fell away as she instantly prepared herself for a fight—although it might not go so well due to the whole being stuck in place thing. She swallowed, heart racing. If it were anyone besides her brothers or Bobby...

But the panic room door creaked open and Bobby's familiar head poked in. His face instantly registered confusion at her state. "The hell...?"

She rattled her cuffs with gusto. "Get me outta these things!"

Bobby wasn't by himself. Alex's brothers spilled into the room, quickly seeing the situation and each having their own immediate reaction. "Oh my god—" Sam rushed to her, aghast—and strangely enough, Alex felt relief to see him so worried about her. "What happened? Why are you cuffed to the gun rack?!"