Song Remains the Same

Chapter 43: It's Darker, Always Darker

"Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
mere anarchy is loosed upon the world...
and what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?"
- W. B. Yeats

*** CONTENT TRIGGER WARNING:
Implied Rape/Incest (non-explicit, Lucifer-created) ***

Waking up was a strange feeling for Castiel. It was a sudden consciousness, followed by an awareness of how reluctant his body and mind were to leave that place of rest. Before he even opened his eyes, his muffled senses came back to clarity—his ears heard the low sound of the car engine as it drove, he could smell the old leather, he felt the car jostling as it hit uneven parts in a road. The vehicle was slowing down to a crawl. Had they arrived in Detroit?

Cas opened his eyes, looking to his left where Alex was, a little smile dawning across his lips when he thought of her. The smile fell away when he saw that the seat beside him was empty. He sat up faster than he thought possible, snapping out of the half-lucid feeling. He looked over his shoulder through the large back window. Bobby's van followed the Impala down a dark alleyway. She must be with Bobby, but why? "Where's Alex?" he asked urgently, inexplicably feeling a sense of quickly growing alarm.

When he saw the way Sam and Dean glanced at each other and then looked back at him, he immediately knew something was wrong. Dean stopped the car and threw the gearshift up into park then took the keys out of the ignition. "You wanna tell him, or me?" Dean's tone was dark and inscrutable. Without waiting for a reply, he got out of the car.

Cas got out too, faster than he thought possible and he stared across the car roof at Dean. "Tell me what?" he asked intensely, needing to know now—his pulse had picked up, dread and alarm coursed through his veins at full strength. Where was she? Where was Alex? Why did Dean have that look on his face? Sam was getting out too and while Dean's expression was almost angry, Sam looked mournful.

"She ran away," Sam said grimly as he shut his door. "We think," he added.

Castiel felt thunderstruck by terrified confusion. "What?" He looked at Dean for an explanation, almost unable to remember how to breathe for a moment.

The oldest Winchester let out a heavy breath and leaned his arms onto the top of the Impala, pinched the bridge of his nose, then shut his eyes. "What do you want me to tell you, Cas?" He threw a hand up, giving the impression that he'd given up. "She took off."

Cas was frozen in place, staring at Dean in confusion. He heard what they were telling him, but she couldn't just be gone. No... she wouldn't run away, and he knew it and couldn't bring himself to believe that she would. "She... wouldn't do that," Cas protested in a stilted, strained voice, his features twisted into a wounded, bewildered expression. "I know that she wouldn't."

"Yeah well she did," Dean said gruffly. "She left her phone, left your friggin' Lortabs on the seat beside you. One minute she was there, the next she was just gone and some guy was yelling about his motorcycle being stolen. She ditched, Cas, okay?" Dean sounded mad about it. Cas was wrecked. Why would she do such a thing? Without a word to him? No, something about this wasn't right.

Cas looked at Sam. "How long ago was this? Why didn't either of you wake me?" He looked back at Dean, getting more and more upset as the knowledge that she was no longer there became realer and realer. "Why did you just let me sleep?! You should have woken me, Dean! The second you knew she was gone!" Betrayed, Cas looked at each brother in turn. He was devastated, infuriated, and helpless—all at the same time.

Dean looked at his brother darkly. "I told you he'd flip out."

Sam pulled a sour face. "Yeah. You did. And I wanna know why you aren't flipping out, Dean." He looked at his brother accusingly.