Song Remains the Same

Chapter 136: What To Expect When You're Expecting

"There is no way out of the experience except through it."
- Penelope Leach

Almost Two Months Later
Milton's Café
Lawrence, Kansas

"Yeah, exactly—which is why they'll never even make the playoffs!" Sam said, leaving his twin laughing ruefully and shaking her head.

"Listen, that team is a fucking disgrace," Alex agreed, chuckling cynically behind her decaf coffee.

The cozy downtown café was quiet on that Thursday mid afternoon—the perfect spot for a couple of siblings who hadn't seen each other in awhile to catch up. Over in an out-of-the-way corner, the Winchester twins leaned over a table with mugs in hand. So far, talk had been on very lighthearted and non-consequential subject matter. But as much as Alex was enjoying seeing Sam again, it felt time to delve a little deeper. "Anyway, enough about teams that never come through," she said, fixing him with a solicitous gaze. "How's life these days on your end of things?"

Translation: 'what's life without me been like the past two months?'

Sam took her meaning and for a microsecond, his expression faltered. Then he tried to be optimistic. "Well... it's, it's different, I'll give you that much." The twins shared a thin smile briefly. Yeah. It was different. Ever since Dean had essentially kicked Cas out, Alex had stayed gone—meaning it was just the brothers at the Bunker. Well, the brothers and Kevin. Bobby sometimes too. Dad was still missing. Sam grew quieter, both in energy and volume. "He says you still won't talk to him."

At the nameless mention of Dean, Alex bristled faintly, taking a moment to manage her spike in discomfort by turning her coffee in her fingers a few times. Maybe it was pride, maybe it was boundaries, but... she wasn't budging yet. "And I'm not going to until he apologizes, either. And explains himself, too." More sadness gathered on her twin's face and Alex sighed softly. "Don't give me that look, Sam."

Regretful, Sam shrugged briefly. "I just... kind of don't know what to do when you two aren't getting along."

Alex contemplated the steam rising up off her coffee somberly for a minute. She heard the unspoken appeal. In her and Sam's near-daily texts, this was a topic Alex had asked be kept off limits. She had known that this would come up in person today and did her best to explain. "You know I love him," she said honestly, feeling that steady old affection squeeze her chest as she sought Sam's gaze. "More than almost anyone else on this whole goddamn planet, but..." yeah, she would do almost anything for either of her brothers, but she wasn't going to crawl back just yet after what her oldest had done. Yes Dean texted and called her... and yes, she was still ignoring him and stewing. He had betrayed them when they needed him the most and Alex was still trying to figure out how to move past that. "It's just not right, what he did to us," she said, brow furrowing as her eyes dropped to stare into lazy steam again. "And I just can't shake this feeling like... he's up to something."

Sam's brow furrowed too. "...What would he be up to?"

That was the exact question. It weighed on her mind constantly, uncomfortably. It just didn't make sense. "Dunno. This... it just doesn't sit right with me." She glanced out the window briefly, troubled. "It really seemed like he accepted me and Cas for a little while there. I thought he and Cas were friends. Family, even..." And to come home then be immediately told to leave and stay away... it bothered Alex. Constantly.

Sam studied his sister for a second. "So I'm guessing you haven't told him yet."

Alex's eyes flicked up to his. She didn't need specifics as to what Sam was referring. Her pregnancy. "Yeah uh—maybe once he's done being a certifiable prick," she wisecracked, trying to use humor in an attempt to make it all hurt less. It didn't really work.