Song Remains the Same

Chapter 123: The New Testament

"Life takes you unexpected places. And love brings you home."
- Unknown

After a hectic two-minute drive back to the bunker with Alex sandwiched between two unconscious, charred men in the back seat and Dean and Sam drilling her with questions which she tried to answer as best as she could while asking some of her own... the twins hauled a very unconscious, very heavy Castiel into Alex's room of the bunker.

With some difficulty, they managed the task and then unceremoniously dumped him onto the bed where he sprawled on his back like the sooty, dirty lump that he was. A little out of breath from the task (Cas looked light enough but it must have been something about his angel stuff... he felt like he was several hundred pounds or more), the twins stood back and exchanged a tired, slightly disbelieving we did it look. Alex was disheveled and sooty and smeared by dirt—her clothes were burned away in places and discolored, her long hair was bedraggled and unkempt, her skin was a faint ashy gray smeared with black soot and dirt here and there. Sam was smudged black in several places from holding and hugging her and from carrying Cas: his clothes, jaw, even a place on his cheek. He was already looking physically ill from the trials, so basically, they both looked pretty rough. But despite that, they exchanged a weary, soft-eyed smile and Sam pulled his sister into another gentle, close hug. She wrapped her arms around his middle, nestled her head against his chest, and that's where they stayed for a long moment. She sniffed softly, and he closed his eyes, holding tears back.

Ten minutes ago, Alex had been in Hell and the brothers hadn't even known.

Sam still couldn't believe what had happened or that she'd sold her soul to bring Bobby back. He was having a tough time not breaking down on her behalf when he thought about how long she'd been there. In the car, she said the hounds had come for her the night that she slipped out of the bunker past their lock. So basically a month, or in Hell-time... ten years. Sam remembered without wanting to the sight of her shredded converse shoes and jacket. Unbidden, he imagined her screaming as she was torn apart and helpless. Alone. Without anyone to save or help her. And then him and Dean cluelessly carrying on with stupid shit and not tearing the universe apart to get to her. What if I had closed Hell and Alex had been in there? Past the point of caring about how dirty either of them were, Sam kissed the top of his sister's head hard and held her a little tighter as his throat choked up and eyes stayed squeezed closed. He hoped to whatever god or higher power was out there that his little sister wouldn't face the torment he knew so well. The nightmares of Hell, the scar left behind on everything he was.

Sam's mind was spinning nonstop. What the hell did Dad being back mean? Was he gonna pull through? And if he did, what did that mean for their family? It was all such a huge unknown. As was much of Sam's life at current time. Well, whatever John Winchester's sudden return brought, Sam just knew he wasn't gonna let Alex down again. Or Dean. Sam was gonna make it up to them with these trials and set his wrongs right. Maybe his sister would forgive him someday for abandoning her while Dean and Cas were in Purgatory. Although so far, she didn't seem angry with him like Dean was—they hadn't talked about it however. Her bitterness would probably come later after she recovered from the shock of being resurrected. Sam's eyes filled with tears he had to blink back. He hadn't seen his sister as herself in, what, over a year? It was fuzzy and it hurt if he thought about it too hard, but he figured right around when Dick died was the last time he had really seen her. After that had happened, he'd proceeded to leave and then spend about a year in denial with the Amelia thing and then when he'd rejoined Dean, Alex had been 'dead.' Sam had mourned his twin so hard and felt like he'd lost a part of himself—blamed himself because he thought if he hadn't run away with a dog and a girl, his sister might still be alive. And then Alex had come back... but had been without her memories.