Song Remains the Same

Postlude: The Road So Far

"The divine is not something high above.
It is in Heaven, it is in Earth—it is inside of us."
- Morihei Ueshiba

April 29th, 2055
The Bunker

The word 'death' was not one Castiel had concerned himself with in his time spent as an angel. Not until the hand of fate did its work in changing everything. Not until he fell deeply into a love which never found its end.

Once an immortal celestial being without beginning or end, he had readily cast it all aside to spend a human lifetime on earth with her—and with his family. This had been his choice. This would always be his choice. Even now, knowing that his mortal end was very bitter indeed...

His years on earth had turned him gray, aged his body, and left him withering away from the aggressive cancer he'd been diagnosed with only a few months prior. He hadn't the strength to leave bed anymore, not for the last six days. With him the entire time—holding him, sleeping at his side, tending to his every last need, never missing a chance to express her affection for him—his wife stayed close. Needless to say, it had been a very difficult time. The cancer spread too quickly to treat. And nothing about knowing what was coming made the inevitable any less painful to bear.

"I think I've just seen my last sunrise."

Those were the words Cas uttered the morning of the day he breathed his last... their forty-fifth wedding anniversary.

A heavy silence had hung in response. Then, a tearfully whispered, "I'm not ready," drifted back as her veiny hand found his. Alex curled into his side, a place she rarely left anymore.

His eyes were the one thing cancer could not sap away. Brilliant blue met warm hazel. With silver hair and a face road-mapped by wrinkles, Alex had never ceased to be beautiful to Cas—their bodies had aged, their strength had waned, but their love had only grown. And the thought of leaving his beloved here alone on earth while he ascended to Heaven made Cas ache. "I'm not ready either..." he admitted, voice catching on tears of his own.

Her voice was faint. The outward strength she maintained for his sake was eroding. "How am I supposed to do this without you?" It was a question that hurt to ask and hurt to hear. They had never stopped needing each other, never stopped fearing the loss of the other. Neither knew what to do.

Cas held her hand as best as his failing strength would let him. His first thought was not for himself. "I wasn't supposed to go first..." he murmured, his chest full of sorrow as he searched familiar eyes he didn't want to leave behind. "I don't want you to be alone. And I never want to be without you, not even for a day..." he trailed off, fatigued beyond belief.

Her face was gathering sorrow in tandem with his. "What if you're wrong?" The question was barely a whisper. "About Heaven? About seeing each other again?"

The question set a knowing smile onto his elderly face despite his failing strength and growing tears. In the face of her doubt, he only had conviction. "How could I be wrong about that?" he appealed gently—he didn't even consider an alternative. There was no other possibility. He searched her worried, heartbroken eyes and thought hard about how to say what he had tried to convey so many times: If they weren't soulmates, who would be? "We belong together," he said, his faith complete. "Our souls are one. I believe that with everything I have." Compassionate in the face of her fear, Cas managed to hold her face in a trembling, age-spotted hand. "We'll share a Heaven. I know we will."

Because no matter how many goodbyes the two of them said, without fail they always came back to each other—he couldn't do anything but believe this was their final separation. That they would reunite once more, and this time for eternity.