Song Remains the Same

Chapter 19: Daddy Issues

"And I hate myself for being human.
What good are hearts if you can't use them?"
- God or Julie

Two Weeks Later

Two Winchesters entered the motel room and threw their stuff down, exhausted and splattered in vampire blood. Alex plopped onto one of the beds, yanking off her damp boots. Dean cast a dark glance around the space.

A week ago, Sam left. Hitched a ride to wherever, just like that. It happened after the three of them had worked a job in Colorado with a few old hunting buddies: Rufus, Jo, and Ellen. A newcomer on the scene, War (as mentioned in Revelation) had turned a small town there against one another. After the hunters cut War's ring of influence from his hand, Sam had split, saying he needed a break and that he didn't trust himself.

Dean hadn't stopped their brother or even tried to talk to him about it. He'd been disturbingly okay with it, practically sending their brother off with a shove as he walked out the door. Alex had begged Sam to just give it some time, but he'd left anyway. Dean had avoided the subject ever since. The past few days he'd put everything into finding a job. But now that the job they'd found was wrapped up, Alex was done being agreeable. She looked up from where she was been sitting and decided now was as good a time as any. "We gotta talk."

Her brother turned with crossed arms. "Look, I already know you've just been waiting to bitch me out about Sam, so go ahead. I'm all ears."

Typical Dean. "Why do you have to be like that? You don't even know what I was gonna say."

"Lemme guess: you were gonna say that we shouldn't have split up, I should have made him stay, he shouldn't be alone right now, some kinda crap like that."

Alex's mouth went into a thin line, irritated that he got it right, and even more irritated that he didn't see the problem, either. "Don't you think we should be helping him through this, not putting more miles between us? He's our brother."

"Yeah, our brother who likes demon juice." Dean swaggered over, jabbing his finger at the ground. "This right here? The family business? We got no room for that bleeding-heart, wishy-washy crap. We don't got time for issues, we just gotta kill or be killed."

Alex was drawn. "Right, because you don't have any issues."

"Oh, and you're just Miss America, aren't you?"

She felt so flustered by his attitude that she couldn't think of any of the things she'd thought of or rehearsed internally. She felt herself getting flushed. "Why can't you just admit you're wrong about this?!"

"Because I'm not wrong," Dean said forcefully. "I didn't make Sam leave. He wanted out—end of story, Alex!" His volume was nearing a shout now. "I don't have time for this today! I'm the oldest and it's my car, my house, my rules, so if you don't like it, feel free to shove off like you did before!" Ouch. Dean paused, taking a deep breath before a little guilt flashed across his face at the stung way Alex received his tirade. "I didn't mean that," he muttered, then his expression became pissy again. "But if you wanna be with Sammy so bad, the door's right there. I'm sure as hell not keeping you here."

"Stop putting me in the middle!" Alex could have punched him. "I shouldn't have to choose a side! You're being an asshole!"

Dean took in a tired, aggravated breath. "Come on, Al, we've done this before. Sam was gone for four friggin' years and you didn't care then, so what's different this time?"

That simple comment hurt the worst out of all of them. "I did care, and you know it." She really hated Dean sometimes. She turned away, yanking her hair out of the ponytail. "Whatever Dean," she muttered sullenly. "I need to get this damn blood off of me."