Song Remains the Same

Chapter 42: Here to Fall

"Rescue me from me, and all that I believe."
- Smashing Pumpkins

Last Year

Castiel was reeling in agony, laying on the ground unsure of where he was.

The last thing he remembered was being with Alex and her brothers late at night in the woods. Alex had been very drunk and Castiel had taken a flask of absinthe from her on impulse. But what had happened after that? Briefly, he couldn't recall—the searing pain crippled his ability to think. And then he remembered that several angel brethren had summoned him away from the Winchesters forcefully, demanding he appear for an audience with the archangels. He was to leave his vessel behind. Castiel had known what that meant. He had resisted at first—an instinct he never would have possessed before. Another instance of disobedience he could add to the growing list.

Castiel raised up slightly with a groan, seeing his older brothers Michael and Raphael before him. He knew he was weakened because he didn't perceive their true forms, instead, he saw their vessels. Castiel looked down, realizing that he still saw himself as Jimmy Novak. They were in a heaven that was an ornate French-style palace hall, and Castiel was sprawled on the shining marble floor.

Raphael bent forward just slightly, looking at Castiel with a stony expression. "It hurts, doesn't it. Being ripped out of a vessel without warning."

Castiel looked up at his older brother with distressed pleading. "Why have you done this?"

Michael looked at him coolly. "We've brought you here so that you can explain yourself. Your actions."

Dread pooled inside of Castiel. He felt caught.

Michael made a 'get up' motion with his hand. "Stand, Castiel."

Castiel did as he was told, apprehensive underneath the glowers of the two archangels. "Your interference and interactions with the human girl are becoming increasingly extraneous and unnecessary," Raphael said plainly in the slow, insolent tone he so often took. "You've been warned before. You've been disciplined before... or have you forgotten?"

No, he had not, and he never would. Castiel looked down. "Explain yourself, Castiel," Michael prompted. "Why you continue to foolishly walk this dangerous line. You are a servant of Heaven."

"Yes, I know that I am," Castiel replied. He was thinking deeply and earnestly. "But she's... she's my friend. The Winchester family. They're my friends." The archangels looked at him oddly and then at each other. He could see that they did not understand. Castiel attempted to explain. "I don't believe my actions have been—"

Michael cut him off harshly. "Your opinion is unimportant, Castiel. Your obedience is what we require. You are to accept what we tell you without question and cease acting on your own accord." He looked at Castiel for a long moment with cool hostility. "You have no need of friendship. Not Alex Winchester's, not Dean Winchester's, not Sam Winchester's."

Castiel wanted to protest, but Michael continued. "Be grateful we allow you this exception, Castiel. After what you did before..." He trailed off meaningfully and Castiel knew he was expected to express guilt and regret. But he would not. He had given Alex Winchester her voice back and he would not apologize for it—because it was the right thing and he knew it, even though all of Heaven disagreed. "After what you did before," Michael repeated, dissatisfied with Castiel's silence, "you should not be allowed even a second chance."

Puzzled and suspicious, Castiel frowned. "Then why am I being given it?"

There was a short silence and the archangels exchanged a glance. Castiel intuited there was something they were not communicating to him. "The Winchesters trust you," Michael finally told him artlessly. "We can use this to our advantage."