Song Remains the Same

Chapter 38: Things Fall Apart

"One by one, hollow heroes separate as they run."
- Breaking Benjamin

Barstow, California

The server set down four plates at the booth. "Get you guys anything else?"

"I think we're good, thanks," Sam told her, giving a wan, distracted attempt at a smile. The server told them to let her know if they needed anything else and then left them to it.

It was still raining outside as they sat at the twenty-four-seven diner. It was early, like crack of dawn early—they'd driven in silence for about two hours after leaving Van Nuys in the stolen car. Sam was trying to keep himself together mentally at this point. He was bone-tired exhausted, run-ragged, and not sure what the hell was happening.

He glanced across the table at Dean. The oldest Winchester was already stuffing his face, taking huge, rude bites of his breakfast sandwich. Usually, food always got Dean in a better mood, but right now, he was eating like it was a job he wasn't happy to be doing. Beside him, Adam was about to start on his sausage and biscuits, glancing around uncomfortably, obviously feeling a little awkward and cautious, unsure about the situation he'd abruptly found himself in. Sam couldn't blame him. Stuck on the road with your family—but a family you didn't even know. Add in the angel drama and it was a wonder Adam was as calm and composed as he was.

Beside Sam, Alex had picked up her fork and pushed her scrambled eggs around her plate a couple times. She'd been really quiet since Van Nuys. It was hard to tell what exactly she was thinking or going through—but troubled was definitely one clear emotion. Sam stared down at his eggs and toast. He didn't feel hungry, but he made himself eat. The four of them ate in the increasingly stilted silence. Sam could barely stomach his food. He hadn't talked with his older brother yet about everything that had happened over the past forty-eight hours or so, but he knew he needed to. He thought about Dean picking fights, being unwilling to cooperate or listen to reason, running away after hurting Alex and Cas alike... it was all horrific and nerve-wracking, but the thing Sam felt most uncertain about was the sudden one-eighty Dean had done, promising not to say 'yes' after being so adamant about not saying 'no' any longer. Sam wasn't sure what to believe anymore. All he knew was that he didn't want to confront Dean about it yet—not with Alex and Adam present.

It all made for some very high-strung nerves. Sam didn't like being without a game plan—so far, they'd settled on 'going back to Bobby's,' but what after that? Was Dean really anti-Michael again? Were they gonna band together and fight this thing after Dean had given Sam that grand speech in the panic room about saying yes on their terms? Sam had a bad feeling about this whole thing... and with the sudden addition of Adam, who was quiet, watchful, and cautious—everything felt a little bit claustrophobic. Sam glanced at Dean at the exact second his brother happened to look up at him.

"What?" Dean asked defensively through a mouthful of food.

"Nothing," Sam hedged, then made himself take another bite of eggs. For another minute, there was no more talking—just silverware clinking and Adam slurping the last of his Coke through a straw with a loud, sputtering sucking sound.

Immediately irritated, Sam gave him a look like cut that out. Adam stopped, cleared his throat, set his cup down, then glanced around at everyone at the table. "So. Uh. What do we do now?" he asked, maybe figuring that if no one else was gonna broach the subject, he would. Sam looked at Dean who said nothing, just chewed a huge mouthful and gave Sam a look like he was silently saying your turn. Adam looked between the two brothers suspiciously, sensing the discord. "Something you're not telling me?"

"Everything's fine," Sam said, trying to avoid any conversation that was too deep. "Eat your breakfast."

Maybe he came across as too brusque or maybe Adam didn't like Sam's tone. Either way, Adam became guarded and a little offended. "Everything's fine?" He grew sullen. "I may not be one of the gang but you don't have to lie to me."