Vow of the Dawn (La Carlota #2)

21

"One sambo and ice green tea, small?"

I replied a lazy nod and gave her my card. Agad niyang tinanggap 'yon at nilibot ko nalang ang tingin ko sa loob ng café, it's just quarter to four in the morning, I don't expect people to be here that early. Marami namang open shops pa nang ganito ka-aga so I chose to be here. 'Yong hindi masyadong pinupuntahan.

I can still feel how soar and bloaty my eyes are, my lips feel numb as well. With that situation, before totally going home, I knew I needed to calm down and fix myself.

"Name po?" She asked then handed me my card. I looked down on my hand and smiled faintly.

"Lettie," maamo kong sabi. Nang matapos ang pag-order, agad na akong umupo sa dulong part ng 24/7 coffee shop. I made sure that my place was close to the glass wall panels. It's pouring outside.

It's like it knew that this morning will be a tough one for me. So it also chose to sympathize with my feelings.

Ngumiti ako sa cashier na siya ring nag-serve ng order ko. I stared at the small iced cup blankly. I touched what's written on the cup and felt my eyes burn.

Lettie.

What a petty nickname.. But I eventually grew fond of it.. He made me adore that pet name.

I wonder, is he half way to Manila? Is he doing okay? Is he sleeping?

Is.. He crying? Sad? Like I am and the skies?

I don't know.. I don't wanna know.. Because I'm aware that I was partly the one to blame for his sadness or feelings.

Breaking up, in an airport's parking lot, in the middle of day break and furious questions of, 'when will be able to meet again?' is the most cringe yet, most heartbreaking thing I think I'd ever experience.

I sighed. I chose to do this.. There's no turning back now. The damage had already been done, Wala na akong babalikan pa, tama naman siguro ang naging desisyon ko.

I only meant good anyway.

I just wish that it would be perceived that way.

But I sense that.. That won't be the case.. Kahit anong sabihin ko, kahit anong dahilan.. I hurt him. I lied to him. Mali ako. Alam ko.

But I knew better. Alam kong hindi sa amin umiikot ang mundo. Before this whole love thing.. There was our dreams that's waiting for us. Marami pang oppotunities na maari niyang maabot kung hahayaan ko lang siya.

And I let him. We'll let him.

Hollywood. Los Angeles. That's ta brighter future that this clouded lane. I don't want this situation to spark a fire that'll completely burn our dreams at the same time.