Fragile

1

AMELIAS POV
"Ryan I can't do this anymore!" I cried, "I can't."
"Amelia come on we always said we would make it work," Ryan said.
"It's unfixable," I sighed, "we can't fix this."
"Amelia I said I was sorry!" Ryan argued.
"Ryan I've tried to work with you but you keep going out and getting high!" I said, "for my own sobriety I can't be with you!"
"I'm trying to fix it!" He yelled at me.
"How? I try to bring you to meetings with me and you refuse. I try to invite my sponsor over for breakfast with us and you refuse. I try to bring you to rehab to get help and you refuse! Ryan I get it but you don't want the help and I can't be in this!" I said.
"Fine," Ryan sighed, "do you want a divorce?" I frowned as I looked at him. He was sick. He wasn't getting better. This had been going on for six months. I loved him but I wanted to leave the situation. I've tried everything and exhausted my resources and he won't listen to me. Sobriety was the basis of our marriage and we didn't even have that anymore.
"Is getting high more important than me?" I asked. He hesitated and that's when I knew I lost him.
"I'll call the lawyer," I sighed. I walked into the other room and he didn't even come after me. I heard the front door slap shut and I started crying. I loved Ryan more than anything. We had been through everything. We got sober and soon found out I was pregnant. My little Christopher. My perfect boy. He was my angel in heaven. He was born without a brain, and he died 43 minutes after birth. I knew the drugs caused that whether Jake tried to convince me it was or wasn't. After that I knew I could never take drugs again, and I thought Ryan did too. I felt selfish leaving him, but this had been going on forever. I felt exhausted and defeated, and him coming home high only triggered my addiction. I've been craving drugs more than ever because of him. I was so hurt and felt so small in this situation.

2 weeks later

Ryan and I officially divorced. I was moving to Seattle to go live with Derek and Meredith while I try to make a stable living for myself. I couldn't stay in LA with Ryan anymore. It was so painful but I needed to leave the situation. He drove me to the airport and it was silent. He parked the car and I looked at him.
"I'm sorry it ended this way," I said, "I know it's what neither of us wanted."
"Yeah," he sighed, "2 girls and 2 boys." I sighed as I thought of it. We were supposed to be a happy family.
"Yeah," I said, "I hope you get the help you need one day."
"I wish I didn't let you go," he said.
"Ryan get help and I'll come back," I said, "I don't want to leave but I have to for my own sobriety and safety. I never wanted it to be like this."
"I know," he said.
"I should get going," I said.
"Yeah," he said.
"Bye," I said.
"Bye," he said. I got out of the car and could feel tears forming in my eyes. I lost everything.