Fragile

5

AMELIAS POV
I sighed and looked at him.
"I have a drug and drinking problem," I admitted.
"Are you sober?" He asked me. I nodded.
"Yeah actually I've been sober for a few years," I said.
"That's good," he said, "I'm proud of you for that."
"Thanks," I weakly smiled at him, "but I had to leave my husband because of it."
"But you're sober?" He said confused.
"It's a long story," I said and looked out the window.
"Well I'm not going anywhere if you want to vent," he said.
"I met him years ago when I was high and drunk," I admitted, "he had just as bad of a drinking and drug problem as I did. When we started dating we decided we wanted to get married, but we both promised we'd go to rehab and get sober before. We both did it and got married. We always promised to be sober, or if we were in trouble get help. For the last six months he's been getting high and keeps coming home high. I know I can't be in that situation because him coming home high every night makes me just want the drugs more and more, and I know I can't take them after."
"After?" Owen said confused.
"God you're really going to hate me after you hear this," I sniffled as I began to cry.
"Amelia I don't hate you," he said, "everything you've gone through is making you strong. I don't hate you."
"I knew I couldn't take drugs again when I gave birth to our baby boy. He was the most precious thing in the world, but he was born without a brain. Deep down I know that's my fault because when he was conceived I was still taking drugs. I know it's my fault that he struggled and only lived for 43 minutes. After losing him Ryan and I said we wouldn't do drugs again, and I know after that pain that if I were to fall back into taking drugs I don't think I could stop, and I think that's how Ryan feels," I sighed.
"I'm so sorry about your baby Amelia," he said.
"It's okay. He's in heaven now with his grandfather, who we actually named him after. And his Uncle Mark and Aunt Lexie. I like to think he has good people up there watching over him," I said.
"I'm sure he has a good family up there," Owen said.
"I feel so selfish leaving Ryan," I said, "But I tried so hard. I tried to get him to come to extra meetings with me, I tried to get him to go to a meal or two with my sponsor, and I tried to get him to go to rehab. I feel like I failed as his wife and I just ran away."
"You didn't Amelia," Owen said softly, "you did try to help him, and you obviously care for him a lot. You tried really hard, while also battling your drug cravings, which I'm sure wasn't an easy thing to do. You weren't selfish, you tried your hardest and now you have to do what's best for yourself. And that's okay." I looked at him as I could feel the tears fall down my face. He leaned over and wiped them away with his thumbs. He was so close to me and I didn't know what to do. I looked at him and he smiled.
"Why are you so nice to me?" I asked him.
"Because I can see you're hurting, and nobody should go through that alone," he said.
"You probably think I'm a crazy mess now," I chuckled.
"No I don't," he said. At this point he was still holding me close to him. I didn't mind it, and I enjoyed his company. After a few moments he let go of me and I looked at the clock and it was almost 10PM.
"Want me to drop you off at Derek and Meredith's?" He offered.
"Yes please," I said.
"Okay," he nodded. He drove and parked in the driveway.
"You know," I chuckled, "sometime you have to tell me something about you since you know everything about me."
"I will," he said, "don't worry."
"You have a good night Owen," I said, "and thanks for listening."
"You're welcome," he said, "you have a good night too." I smiled as I walked up the steps to their house and opened the front door. I walked in and Meredith and Derek were sitting on the couch.
"Where have you been?" Derek asked.
"Amelia we've been texting you all night," Meredith said.
"I'm sorry. I lost track of time I was just talking to Owen," I said.
"Okay," Derek said and got up and hugged me, "I'm glad you're okay."
"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I chuckled.
"Amelia it's not a secret that you're hurting," Derek said.
"It's none of your business," I said getting defensive.
"Okay we don't need to fight about this. Amelia were both glad you're okay," Meredith said. I nodded as I went upstairs. I showered and changed into pajamas and plugged my phone in. I saw the top message was from Owen.
"Hope I didn't get you in too much trouble with Derek," he sent.
"It's all good," I sent.
"I hope you know how strong you are and what happened wasn't your fault," he sent, which made me smile.
"Thanks Owen," I sent. I put my phone down and crawled into bed. Maybe Owen was right.