Fragile

17

OWENS POV
"Owen I've been drinking," Amelia said.
"Right now?" I said.
"Owen," Amelia said as she put her head in her hands.
"Are you drunk?" I asked.
"Maybe a little," she said crying. My pager went off again and I sighed. I paged April and I closed the door. Amelia looked up at me and cried.
"I, I didn't mean to," she cried, "I usually don't drink at work."
"Usually?" I said.
"This wasn't the first time," She said quietly. Shit. She relapsed and I didn't notice. She has been drinking this whole time.
"How long has it been going on?" I asked seriously.
"I can't be here," Amelia said, "you can't be here."
"Amelia does anyone else know?" I asked.
"No," she said, "I try to hide it at home because of the kids."
"How long?" I asked.
"2 weeks," She said, "don't tell anyone please it's not that bad."
"Amelia you're drinking at work," I said.
"I didn't mean to!" She cried, "I, I was almost done I didn't think anyone would be brought back in."
"I need to take you home," I said.
"No Mer's home," she said.
"I'll take you to my house," I said.
"Owen don't," she said.
"You can't stay here, you can't treat patients," I said.
"I know that," she said, "that's why I didn't go down to the pit."
"Just come home with me," I said, "I won't tell Derek or Meredith."
"I never wanted to be like this again," She sniffled as tears fell down her face, "I promised myself I wouldn't do this."
"Come home with me," I said softly, "it'll be okay."
"Okay," she said quietly. We grabbed our things and I drove her over to my house. I had no idea how much she had to drink, or what she had to drink, but I felt awful she had been struggling this whole time and I didn't notice. We got inside and she sat down at the kitchen table and started crying.
"Hey it's okay," I said softly and rubbed her back.
"It's not okay! I fucked up! I've been drinking for weeks and no part of me wants to stop!" She cried.
"Okay," I said and sat down next to her, "do you want to talk about what happened?"
"I didn't mean to relapse," she said, "I promise I didn't, but I was having a hard day at work. I lost a patient and I was really stressed out. I was just going to go down to Joe's and get a soda, but I changed my mind. I thought I wouldn't get addicted again. I had one drink, and then one turned into two, and eventually I probably had eight. I didn't mean for it to get that bad so I slept in an on call room so Meredith, Derek, and the kids wouldn't know. Then I just bought alcohol and drank it in my room when everyone was asleep, and then today I thought I was going home so I just had a few drinks I didn't think I was going to get paged. I didn't touch any patients I promise." I put my arm around her and brought her in for a hug.
"I know you didn't mean it," I said softly, "and I'm sorry you were going through that alone."
"I want to stop but it makes me feel so good," she cried.
"Have you thought about rehab?" I suggested gently.
"No," she sniffled, "I'm not going back there."
"It could help," I said.
"Owen rehab is awful," she cried, "it's awful. I feel locked up there, and I would know I've been in rehab plenty of times. I don't get to see my family. I have to eat horrible food. Group therapy is awful. I can figure this out it's fine. I just can't go back there."
"You don't have to figure this out on your own," I said.
"You don't need to help me," she said sadly, "You don't have to stick around."
"But I want to," I said.

AMELIAS POV
"But I want to," Owen said.
"You don't have to lie," I said as I looked at the cup of water Owen had given me.
"I care about you," Owen said.
"And I care about you, and I care too much to let you be involved in this," I said.
"Well if you won't let me help you I have to tell Meredith and Derek," he said. I went silent as I looked at the table. He couldn't tell them. For starters Meredith would kick me out and wouldn't let me around the kids, and she probably shouldn't let me around them. Derek would be so disappointed in me. He got me all the help I needed and he got me this awesome job here, and I'm fucking everything up. I'm just his baby sister who continually screws up. This isn't any different from all the other times I've fucked up. I looked over at Owen and sighed.
"Can I go shower?" I asked.
"Yeah," Owen said. I went upstairs and turned the water on. I sat down in the shower and started crying. I never wanted it to get this bad. I never wanted to be in trouble again. I promised Ryan and my baby that I could never do this again. I felt so guilty for relapsing but I wanted more alcohol too.

OWENS POV
Amelia had been in the shower for a while. I knocked on the door.
"Amelia? Everything okay in there?" I asked.
"Yeah, uh, I'll be out in a minute," she said.
"Okay," I said. A few minutes later the door opened and she was wrapped in a towel. It was obvious by her eyes that she had been crying but I wouldn't mention it.
"I don't have any clothes," she said quietly.
"You can borrow some of mine," I said. She nodded as she followed me into my room and I gave her a shirt and a pair of sweatpants.
"Thanks," She said.
"You're welcome," I said. She got changed and came back into my room.
"Can you do me a favor?" She asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Can you take any alcohol out of your house?" She asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Thanks," she said. I went downstairs and dumped all the alcohol and threw out the bottles. I walked back upstairs and Amelia was passed out in my bed. She was cute, but I knew I couldn't think like that. I laid down next to her and pulled the covers over her.