Untreated Wounds | Sirius Black

Chapter 32 (!)

The door was wide open when I arrived at my Nanna's old home. It was a small cottage with vines crawling up the side of the house – Rory used to use them to help climb into my window when we were fifteen.

That was the thing – What Rory and I had – it was young summer love – the ideal kind of love I'd always wanted. And I should've gone with him instead last night because I used to spend my summers pining for him. But I still followed Sirius. We didn't have young summer love – our love wasn't ideal nor was it what I'd always wanted. Yet I still needed Sirius and only Sirius. Why was that?

When I walked into the door, Rory was pouring cups down the drain in the kitchen. I cleared my throat, making him turn to me. "Lillian, what do you want?" He grunted, turning back to what he was doing,

"I want to apologise." I folded my arms over my chest,

"No need." Rory ran a hand through his chestnut curls.

"Rory—"

"Lillian, it's fine."

"I'm sorry about what I said," I admitted, leaning my hip against the counter beside him.

"You probably should be." His voice cracked, "There were many more ways to reject me rather than make fun of me with him."

"I wasn't making fun of you—"

"Bullocks!" He slammed his hand on the marble counter and I stepped back instinctively, "You were – I had been keeping that in for so long and I tell you – and you laughed. You laughed at me. You and Sirius laughed at me."

"It wasn't like that," I murmured, avoiding eye contact,

"What was it then?!" His freckled cheeks burned red as anger consumed him.

"We were just drunk." I squeaked,

"Were you? Because last I checked, you used to tell me drunken words are true words."

I pressed my lips together, tapping my forearm in defeat, "It's not my fault I don't love you back."

"No, I suppose it isn't, but you didn't have to mock me." Rory snapped, "You didn't have to use me to get to Sirius – which I know you did – And you didn't have to walk out the door with him and leave me looking like a complete fool!"

"Sirius followed." I defended, "I didn't want him to follow."

"Liar! Lillian, you're lying!"

"No, I'm not."

"I know you think I'm an idiot but I'm not." He finally turned to face me, "You're in love with Sirius – you hated him that summer -- did you even hate him?" 

I fell silent.

Rory scoffed and turned away from me.

Immediately, I placed my hand on his forearm, making him turn his head to me, "Rory, I'm sorry about humiliating you."

"Sure you are." Rory shook my arm off, "You loved it – You and Sirius found it hilarious."

"We didn't find you hilarious, Rory." We found Sister Minnie and Pastor Slughorn hilarious. Even the thought made me try not to chuckle to myself but Rory saw the smile trying to creep onto my lips.

"You're laughing again. You can't even keep a straight face!"

"No, it's not that! It's just—!"

"I meant it when I said you changed – you're not the same girl I invited down to the creek -- the girl that would open her window and sit with me and talk all night," Rory muttered, running his hands under the tap.