Untreated Wounds | Sirius Black

Chapter 47

I hadn't been able to find Lillian.

I'd been to Riddle Manor, I'd been to Devaux Manor but it was like she'd disappeared. Two weeks passed and I was beginning to feel more and more empty.

It was my fault I couldn't find her.

I drove her away.

It was like there was this cement brick on my chest every time I thought about how I drove her away. How I failed her.

Lillian used to always have a stash of narcotics hidden somewhere in case Moony ever needed any and I'd spent all night trying to find them. They were under our mattress. I was sitting on the ground, shovelling pills into my hand to get the feeling of emptiness to finally disappear. And it finally did, even if it was only for a night, there wasn't a pit of wallowing self-pity in me for that night.

I hated living with that void in my chest, I couldn't bear it.

So, I began trying to fill it.

"Padfoot, she just needs time. She'll give you a chance to apologise when she's ready," Marlene told me as we stood in the empty tattoo parlour since it was late Tuesday evening.

I sighed heavily, "Then where is she? I've looked everywhere, Marls,"

"She doesn't want to be found,"

"What if she's hurt? What if something happened?"

"She's got Mehen to protect her,"

"He's not enough,"

"Sirius," Marlene took both of my trembling hands, "Lillian needs time to mourn her mother's death, okay? Lily knows where she is, and Lillian made Lily promise not to tell you."

I nodded sadly, blinking back tears and pulling my hands back when a woman walked into the parlour. "Hi, do you have an appointment?" Marlene asked,

"Yes, I do for Stephanie," The girl said,

"ID, please,"

The blonde girl fumbled for her ID, handing it to Marlene and glancing over at me with a tilted head and I quickly turned away from her. "Huh, you're a witch too," Marlene said, gesturing to me, "And Sirius will be doing your tattoo today,"

I gave her a quick smile, "Just that one over there, it's all set up for you," I said and she nodded.

"Sirius, that's such a unique name," She said as I tattooed her collarbone,

"My parents were unique people," I said dully, focused on finishing the butterfly,

Stephanie winced, grabbing my free hand when the needle pressed against her bone.

"Don't," I shook it off, leaning back and pulling the glove off before grabbing a new one.

She giggled, "Sorry, it just hurt,"

"It's a tattoo,"

"Oh, what's got you in such a bad mood?" She placed a hand on my shoulder and I tensed,

I chose to ignore it, pulling on another glove before continuing the tattoo,

"Ignoring me now?" She pouted,

I finished the final detail of the tattoo and sitting up,

"I can fix that bad mood of yours," She gave me a sly grin,

"Marlene, you're good to clock out, I can check Stephanie out."

"Sirius," Marlene said sternly, making me glance over at her. She gave me a hard glare and shook her head slowly but I ignored her.