Untreated Wounds | Sirius Black

Chapter 63

August 25, 1985

SIRIUS BLACK'S POV:

I had become so lost in my own fiction that I'd lost track of the years that had passed. I just wanted to be with my family. I had dreamt of a family for so long and I finally had one... I had a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter and I lost them... Cass had grown up without me. She didn't remember me and Lillian would make sure I was erased from her life.

Did Lillian think of me as much as I thought of her?

Was she consumed with hatred and disgust when she thought of me? Did she even think of me? Had she found someone new to love? Did she still hold some love for me? Could she feel the love I still held for her? Could she feel it in the magnet in her chest? Did she dream of me as much as I dreamt of her? Or was I a nightmare? Did I haunt her like a ghost?

Was that all I'd become to her? A ghost.

I had etched her features into the backs of my eyelids years ago... But it was beginning to fade. I couldn't remember the exact shade of hazel her forest-like eyes were... And I couldn't remember where each freckle on her face laid or how her scars ran up her back... I was beginning to forget.

The dementors had done that to me. First, they ripped away any memories of my daughter... Of my beautiful baby girl... Cassiopeia... That was all I could remember of my baby girl... Her name.

Of course, I'd made up plenty about her... Like her love for quidditch and her friendship with Harry... But none of that was real...

Nothing was truly real anymore.

I'd made up so much... In my mind James was still alive, in fact in my mind he was sitting beside me and I was speaking to him. And so was Lily and Marls, they were both alive. And in my mind I had my beautiful wife and my beautiful daughter in my arms...

It was cold for a Summer morning, it must've been reaching the end of August. My eyes were closed. And with them closed, I couldn't feel the cold cobblestone against my back and I couldn't hear the cries of inmates from the dementors sucking their soles out and I couldn't smell the rotten stench of decomposing bodies.

Instead, there were blankets wrapped around my body and my arms were cocooned around my wife. Her auburn hair frayed across the pillow and it smelt of roses from the shampoo she used. The sunlight beamed through the cracks of the curtains, illuminating the entire room on the warm August morning.

I wasn't sure what day it was exactly, but Cassiopeia's birthday was in August. I wasn't sure how old she'd be turning... But that morning was her birthday.

"We've gotta get up," Lillian whispered, "You've got to make pancakes before she gets up,"

"Mmm, I know," I murmured, burying my head into the crook of her neck, "Just a few more minutes,"

"Sirius," She sighed, rolling over to face me. She stretched her arm out, wrapping it around my neck before lifting her leg over my hip. I took the chance and leaned over to kiss her soft lips. Lillian ran her hands through my hair, forcing herself to lean away, "Come on, love," She reluctantly sat up, glancing over at the clock to see the time, it wasn't even six in the morning, "Before they're up,"

"They get up at up at seven, Lil, we've got ages," I rolled onto my back,

"Cass'll be up early, it's her birthday," Lillian protested, looking down at me,

"Just a few more minutes," I ran my hands down my face,

"You need something to help wake you up?" I kept my eyes shut as she ripped the blankets off my body, making me begin to whine until I felt her shuffling between my thighs. My eyes snapped open as she shuffled my boxers down to reveal my soft cock.