Arine Diary | ☑

REGRET

Author's POV

Arine stared at the ground. Her eyes were stinking from constant crying. Everytime she looks in front of her and see his body lying cold she can't help the tears.

'Why did I did that?'

She regrets killing him. As much as he deserved it, she was in no place to decide it.

She tried to convince herself that what she did was right. He was a bad guy, he hurt many innocent lives. He was a monster because he killed people.

But then, she did the same.

She killed him. Without thinking, she simply pressed the sword and took his life. And now she's a monster too.

Her eyes stunk again as fresh tears build up. She hesitantly looked up to his body again. He was in the same position when she murdered him. Lying on the ground with his eye open.

She sobbed and pressed her fists into the dirt. She gasped for the air but it felt like there was none in that moment. She tried to look away but her eyes were fixed on his body, as if she was torturing herself. What was happening to her?

Panic attack.

His dead body gave her flashbacks.

Motionless body, open bloodshot eyes staring deep in her soul, tears, guilt.

She closed her eyes tightly and tried to calm her rapid heart.

'It wasn't me. It was her. Always her. It was her choice. I didn't killed her.'

She repeated it again and again because it was the only thing that calmed her. She pressed her knees deep in her chest and wrapped her arms around them, hiding her face. She rocked back and forth like a mother trying to calm her crying child until she felt like there were no tears left.

"It wasn't me." Arine whispered. She unwrapped herself and looked away. Panic attacks were rare for her. It was like for once she forgot she ever had them because she never have them.

But when she does, they are terrible. She had a panic attack once or twice in front of her father which she was trying to avoid. She just simply doesn't like talking on that topic.

But Gar being stubborn didn't gave up and continued asking and Arine being his daughter never replied. She knew he was worried for her but she wasn't ready to share that with anyone.

She didn't think of that herself that much.

'It's better left in the dark'

Arine looked at the corpse again, but this time she wasn't crying. She rubbed her eyes and crawled towards him.

'I wonder what's beneath his mask.'

Arine had heard the story of when her mother became a portal and how Robin discovered there was no flesh on Slade's face. It would've been horrifying.

Don't do it Ari. You'll have another one.

The tiny voice inside her head decided to speak again. She didn't spoke, instead it was always her subconscious. She just had so many voices in her head that sometimes she felt concerned for herself.

Arine, for once, decided to listen and left it. She sighed and sat back.

'What am I suppose to do now?'

He smiled menacingly as he saw her there siting with a confused look. She was confused and scared, and he enjoyed it. Not to mention that little episode she just had.

He enjoyed it so much. Seeing her in pain, just gave him a satisfaction. It was sick but he was sick himself.

'Like mother like daughter'