To Be Loved

Chapter 12 - A talk

We need to talk -

Later that day, when Donna had gone to bed, the Oracle walked into the library with two mugs of tea and found the Doctor sitting there, flipping through the pages of their wedding-picture-album. She smiled and put the mugs down on the table before sitting down next to him. She leaned her head on his shoulder and looked at the pictures with him.

Soon enough he decided to put the album down. She crossed her legs, turned her front to him and picked up her mug. He took a sip of his own tea, put the mug back down and turned to her as well.

"You look like you want to talk about something", he noticed.

She smiled, "I do."

"Where were you when I talked to Wilf?"

"What?"

"When you said good-bye to Martha she was covered in mud. Donna wore entirely different clothes and you looked terribly shaken. Still do a little, actually. How long were you gone?", he put his hand on her knee and rubbed it with his thumb.

"I still underestimate you", she looked down, "I didn't do anything. You were gone and the Tardis shut and took off. Turns out she went to find someone. Who, well, who didn't exist. And doesn't. Her name was Jenny."

She choked up a bit and bit her lip. The Doctor noticed and moved his hand to her cheek, stroking it with his thumb, "Who was she?"

"My-", she choked, "My daughter."

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head, "No, seriously, how long were you gone?"

She chuckled slightly and shook her head, "They pushed my hand into a machine for progenation. At gunpoint, mind you. And seconds later, I had a fully grown soldier-daughter. I denied it at first. Obviously. But she was more like me than, well, than the machine."

"So she was fantastic", he concluded with a smile.

She looked up and mirrored his smile, "She was brilliant, incredible. I told her I'd take her along with us. Show her anything she wanted to see. She just wanted to see new worlds. You'd have loved her."

"Obviously, if she came from you."

"Well, and then, well-", she choked again and looked down.

"She stopped existing", he concluded, noticing she wouldn't get the words out.

"I didn't notice", she croaked out, tears flowing now, "They'd put down their guns. I thought I'd stopped their fighting. Gave them what they wanted. But I was so excited to explain it to her. She smiled at me and asked about the terraforming and I wanted to answer all her questions. I- I was distracted. I was careless."

"You don't have to keep going if you don't want to."

"No, no there's a point to this", she waved her hands and wiped her tears, "But I realised that you were right. Everything that happened on Messaline was under terrible circumstances and we didn't get a chance. But for the moment, for her moment, she replaced a little bit of pain with a little bit of joy. I was a mother. I explained the universe to my child. I thought of all the things I wanted her to see."

He smiled slightly, "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I want to do this under the right circumstances. With you. Being able to control where we go. I want to see that joy in our children's eyes when they see the stars. I want their curiosity when they discover something new. I want that rush in my hearts when they achieve something. I want to feel all that again."

"You want to have another child?", he reassured himself.

"Yes", she smiled.

"With me?"

"No, get me another one of those machines, that's so much easier", she sassed and then laughed.

He joined in and took the mug from her hands to set it on the table. Then he leaned forward to catch her lips in a kiss.

"Ooh, someone's eager", she chuckled with his face in her hands.

"Darling, I've only waited for your go", he grinned and pushed her back onto the sofa.