Converto - Marvel Studios [8]

thirty-seven.

I sat on the wooden dock, my legs hanging off of the side as my feet dangled above the calm water, the rippled reflection of the soles of my feet staring back at me. My head was leaning against a wooden pillar, my gaze far off in the distance at the tall trees, their tips reaching towards the blue sky like any other day, except it wasn't. Steve sat on the bench that was hidden underneath the roof, his elbows on his knees as his blank stare matched mines perfectly, sitting still in the silence. Thor and Bruce were pacing back and forth, both of them in sweatpants and hoodies as they refused to stay still.

Clint stood with his shoulder pressed against the pillar, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared much like I did. Tony had one foot propped up on the bench Steve was sitting on, his dark glasses covering his eyes, not letting anyone see that they were bloodshot and red like the rest of ours. My eyes watched as Bruce stood still by the end of the dock, his huge hands clenched into fists as he heavily inhaled and exhaled, his shoulders moving with every breath that he took. Tony finally spoke, breaking the silence between us all. "Do we know if she had family?".

"Yeah" Steve replied, my eyes drifting over to look at him as I blinked a few times, my eyes feeling dry for once after not having closed them in so long from my constant state of staring. "Us" he added, my teeth finding the inside of my cheek, the same spot I has been gnawing on for the past 24 hours now. I didn't say anything, convinced that I wouldn't be able to push any words out even if I wanted to, but also knowing now wasn't the time to tell the team a nugget of information that only I had known for years. "What?" Thor asked, his voice exasperated as he walked over to Tony and Steve, pulling his hands from deep within his pockets.

"I just asked him a question" Tony said, standing up straight as Thor stood way too close to him, my legs lifting from the dock as I pushed my back against the pillar next to me, straightening my knees in front of me. "You're acting like she's dead" Thor said, tapping his hands against Tony's chest as he turned and motioned to us all with his hands. "Why are you all acting like she's dead? We have all the stones" he said, shaking his head quickly as the words spilled from his mouth at a million miles an hour. "Cap, we can bring her back, right?" Thor asked, pointing at Steve as Clint let out a heavy sigh before letting his head hang. "So stop this shit because we are the Avengers, get it together" Thor growled through his teeth at all of us.

"We can't get her back" Clint said, shaking his head as Thor turned to look at him, an undoubtful look on his face. "What?" Thor asked as if he didn't understand what Clint was trying to say to him. "It can't be undone, it can't" Clint clarified with a heavy shake of his head, his frown weighing down his whole face. Thor didn't do anything in reply for a moment before he let out a dry laugh, Clint pushing himself off of the pillar. "No offence but you are a very earthly being and we are talking about space magic here" Thor said to Clint who was nodding his head sarcastically at the blonde god in a hoodie.

"Look, I know that I'm way outside my paygrade here but she still isn't here, is she?" Clint said, his voice raised as he turned towards Thor, moving his hands around in the air. "No, that's my point" Thor fought again as Clint clenched his jaw, his eyes watering as they threatened to leak tears. "It can't be undone, or at least that's what the red floating guy had to say" he shouted again, shaking his head as I winced at the tone of his voice. "It was supposed to be me, she sacrifices her life for that goddamn stone, she bet her life on it" Clint added, his voice breaking at the same time he did, having to stumble to a bench before his knees gave out from under him.

In a burst of anger, Bruce wrapped his hand around the bottom of a bench, ripping it from it's fixings that were holding it to the wooden deck, his arm extending as it went crashing into the water with a huge splash. Now that his anger had been spent he turned back to look at us, a resigned look on his face as I blinked slowly, hoping that time would just stop. "She's not coming back" Bruce said with a sigh as I looked up at him, his large figure being really intimidating from a lower angle. "We have to make it worth it, we have to" he insisted, my eyes dropping back down to look at my hands as I picked at the bandage that was sealed over my broken and torn knuckles that were trying to fix themselves as fast as possible.

"We will" Steve said with a determined tone to his voice, nodding his head as he pushed himself off of the bench he was on. None of us stirred for a moment as I watched the water ripple and move with each soft blow of the wind, Clint's laboured breathing causing his whole body to shake. "I'm going inside" I said as I pushed myself off of the deck, standing up with a small sigh as I walked over to Clint, who had his head in his hands. I outstretched my hand, setting it on his shoulder in a comforting manner as I squeezed my hand gently. He was shaking underneath my touch like he was trembling from the cold despite it being a perfectly warm spring day. I took my hand back as I walked back towards the compound, no one saying anything to me as I dragged my feet in the dirt track.

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A/N: okay this chapter is supppppperr short in comparison to the rest in this book but I need a little filler in there before the next chapter
I had one of the BEST chapters ever planned out for the next part however (HAWKEYE SPOILERS) finding out Yelena blipped in the recent episode of Hawkeye really threw a spanner in the works (bet you can all guess what it is now and who knows maybe I'll release it some day)
Anywayyyyy, I saw spiderman the other day and OH MY FUCKING GOD what a film that was SOMEONE MESSAGE ME ABOUT IT ASAP I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS TO SHARE
Plz don't comment about the movie without a spoiler warning because I will delete the comment to save spoiling the amazing move for others who haven't seen it yet!
Please do not forget to vote and comment and I will see you all again soon!!
Have a lovely Christmas and New Years!!!