I'm afraid, my love, that this is where my story comes to an end. You see, I know that as soon as I walk into that building to save you, there is no chance that I'm leaving. Rick has no tolerance for traitors. Sooner or later he will shoot you too if he doesn't get me. I hope you see that this is why I had to do this.
This was my fault. I shouldn't have let you get caught up in this. In any of this. Maybe if I hadn't then we could've been happy somewhere but knowing that you're safe makes me happier than I could ever be.
It's funny, the way life works. Just when it became something worth living, it's taken away from me. I know that me leaving is going to hurt. Just the thought of leaving you makes me want to cry but I need you to know that you and Rory are the most important things I have in my life right now. If I didn't have you, there is no way I would've survived this long.
Every time I wanted to die, Every time my heart wanted to stop you were there shocking me back to life. Please remember that my love.
And please tell Rory that I love her, so so much. More than she could ever imagine. Remind her to keep smiling. It's important, okay? Keep her happy, but don't let her run wild, okay? Make sure she does something she's passionate about. Make sure she lives properly. Make sure she loves properly. It's the most important thing.
Now I don't believe in that look up and I'll be watching over you, listening to you bull crap. But there is one thing I do know. Even after I'm gone, I need you to remember that we are under the same sky, the same moon, the same stars. I hope it brings you a little bit of peace.
I know what grief does to a person, I know how it breaks you. So I'm telling you that it's good to grieve. Don't deny yourself the emotion. Don't stop living. You once told me that there was no you without me, so you need to live for the both of us. Live our life for me Jacob.
I hope you can be happy when I'm gone, I hope you can think of me and be happy. I hope you can remember me and think of the good times. I love you. I always will. And it hasn't rained in the desert yet. But if it does. Then wait for the snow.
All my love
- your Celia
YOU ARE READING
When it rains in the desert
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