When it rains in the desert

A Month

"Maybe it would've been easier if I had."

I turned around so fast I almost fell over. I couldn't say anything, I just gawped at her. She noticed me gawping and shrugged her shoulders. I still hadn't moved when she began walking away.

I shook it off and went after her to grab her arm "Woah, Celia." I watched her as she turned around. She looked like a child who'd done something wrong. She looked ashamed.

"Jacob, you realise I'm going to have to leave now right? Do you understand that?" I was looking at her but I couldn't really see her, I couldn't recognise her. She sighed as I was searching her. "Rick knows where I am. I don't know why he let me leave but he'll be back. He'll be back and he won't leave you behind."

"If he suspects you know anything, he'll kill you too" she dropped her head. "This shouldn't have happened" she said. "We shouldn't have happened" she said and I heard it in slow motion. We. Shouldn't. Have. Happened. And I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I felt a piece of my heart break off.

She looked back up at me and brought her hand up to my cheek to wipe away the tear but before she could I moved back, shaking my head.

"No-No you don't mean that Celia." I said, I didn't recognise my own voice.

"Jac-" she began but I cut her off. "No. Stop it." I felt myself moving backwards.

"How can you even say that?" I heard a vulnerability in my voice.

I was silent, waiting for an answer but it didn't come. I turned around and sat on the couch. I ran a hand across the length of my face and sat back. She came and kneeled in front of me.

"I love you" she said and In my head I said no, don't say that. In my head I told her you're saying that because you want to leave, not because you mean it. In my head I told her you don't have to leave. But none of it ever left my mouth.

She adjusted herself so she could reach my face and took it in her hands. "I'm sorry" and I tilted my head, I studied her face again. My eyes seemed to be the only thing I had the power to move right now.

I blinked slowly. And again before the doorbell rang and we both whipped our heads around to the door. Celia reached around her back and pulled out the gun I hadn't noticed she was hiding there and put her finger to her mouth. I got up and she aimed the gun at the door before I looked through the peep hole and saw Aaron.

"It's just Aaron" I said looking back and she released a breath and replaced her gun in her pants.

I opened the door an inch and said "Hey man, what's up?" Aaron smiled and said "Hey. I was just checking in." He was looking at me and then back into the apartment.

"So you gunna let me in or.." I looked at him and he raised his eyebrows. "Do you... have a chick in there bro?"

I ran my hand through my hair and said " is it cool if I call you later?" Aaron seemed to understand for all the wrong reasons and said "sure man, take care of your business" and with a wink he was gone. I shut the door behind him and turned back to Celia.

"I see Aaron is still an arsehole" but I couldn't do sarcasm right now. I walked to the kitchen and for some reason decided to sit on the floor.

She followed me and sat in front of me, wincing as she lowered herself.

"How long?" I asked, practically whispering.

"What?" She looked up at me.

"How long before you leave then?" I said meeting her eyes.

"I can stay for a month at least." She said sighing, resting her head on the oven behind her.

"Rick was leaving to oversee a shipment when I left."  I nodded at her. A month . "Well I suggest we make the most of it then." I smiled.