Better side of me

Losing Control

Chapter 17:

Amara Andrea

I woke up and checked my phone. It was 11am. I had only been asleep for a couple hours. I went to rub my eyes but stopped when I saw bandages on my hands and wrists making me recall the events that occurred before I fell asleep. Oh my god Angelo. I got up out of my bed and ran downstairs to the gym where I last saw him but when I walk I see my father training.

"Dad have you seen Angelo" I ask before he turns around. When he turns I see his face and upper body is covered in bruises. A wave of realization floods me, he was the one who picked me up.

"papa, I'm so sorry, I didn't know it-----" He puts his hand up to stop me from talking. He then signaled me to walk over to him so I did. I tr to speak but he holds his hand up again before pointing towards the punching bag. I look at his confused but he points again. I throw a punch.

"your form is always perfect" He says. He nods his head to proceed. I throw another.

"Good" He says before I throw again. He nods his head.

"father what is the point of this" He doesn't respond.

"papa" I say.

"I thought you were over this Amore, its taking over your life" He says pacing slowly back and forth.

"pa--"

"no, I'm talking. At first I thought this was good for you. I thought that It would make you a good leader until you started making irrational decisions which not only impacted you but our whole family." He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I thought sending you here would calm you down and I actually thought that you were getting better after seeing you with Theo but you just can't shake it can you?" He says.

"Why are you talking like I'm fucking crazy. Why do you all think I have some problem" I say punching the bag.

"Because you do Amara, I didn't want to do this but until you learn to control you self and prove that you are ready for it, you will no longer be granted Don when I retire" He says turning away from me.

"You can't be serious, No you can't do this to me, that is my birth right" I say turning to him.

"your form is perfect Amara, your strong, a good fighter, one of the greatest Assassins but you lack control and I can't trust that you will use your head instead of your hate to lead. You have a son you need to think about Amore, everything you do not only reflects on us but it reflects on him" He says walking out.

I admit that I've had some weak moments but I was not out of control. How could he say that to me? Ever since Amelio's death I promised I would take over and lead to make him proud. Now he's just gonna take it away from me. I'm not gonna break down this time. He wanted a leader, I'll give him a fucking leader.

I trained for a hour before going up to my room to shower. On the way I bumped into Antonio.

"Tonio, do you know where Angelo is?" I ask him.

"He told me what happened, I think you should give him some space" He says.

"I didn't mean to hurt him, I just--" I didn't want to say it but I knew what I did.

"I lost control" I say dropping my head.

"He was right, I'm not ready to lead" I say putting my hands on my hips throwing my head up.

"Bambina, Amelio was always set to take over one day, he had been training for it since his was a small child. You didn't. You grew up with so much love and care, something that not a lot of mafia people experience because you were never meant to be Don. When Amelio died and you vowed to take over in his name, you forced yourself to grow up and you grew out of who you used to be. You turn into an Assassin but you were still you. Now I can't even recognize you, I thought you were strong enough to hold back that darkness but I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry I didn't protect you from it, I failed you" He says before walking past me, leaving me there with my thoughts.