my lost love

My Issues

It's been a while. 

It has been much better. 

To say real, I think I have adapted. By being someone different. 

I learn to block out my Feelings. Attachment. Intimacy. Everything.

I am just going to say that this isn't the greatest idea. 

Because I am not only losing it for you. But for everyone else. 

I feel cold inside. I want to love again too. I want to feel it again.

But this heart, it has given up. 

I can not open up. I can not love anyone. 

Including you. 

Yesterday night, You Told Me - 

" I Miss You.

Every time we meet, it feels like we are dating all over again. "

I am very sure you meant the good parts. 

The ones you didn't have to deal with my feelings and attachment. 

The ones you get warmth and intimacy from me.

The ones I am learning to block out. 

I think it did not hit me. Because you were still so in control of me. 

The fear of losing you overwhelmed me. 

I don't think it is love anymore. 

I just enjoyed that at least you were that one person I am still open to ***. 

I think it is time. 

To close this chapter, 

so I can start a new beginning.