my lost love

Finally

I finally did it. 

I kept convincing myself that there was no point anymore but it was all excuses. 

I realized that I was just hanging onto the fact that he still loved me. 

I knew it didn't matter. He chose not to be with me after all. But I guessed I just didn't want to let thing end for real.

It's was like God's will for me to suddenly gain the courage to end things for good. 

On the very day which everything started. 

24 March. The day we officially got together. 

I called him and we had a final talk about everything. Our relationship. Our feelings. 

We talked a lot, 1 hour 10 mins, but I am not going to dive into the details here.

I made it clear and he made it clear too. He didn't want anything more at the moment. 

It isn't his fault. I understand and respect his decision. So did he with mines. 

Thus, with this call, I officially call it quits between us. We are over and we will no longer interfere with one another's life. I didn't want to be just friends. I couldn't.

Honestly, it still hurts and I am grieving over him all over again. 

This time, it felt like I broke up with him. 

I decided to break free from him. I decided to let him go. 

But I felt relieved. I did what I need to do after dragging it on for so long after all. 

I am still waiting for you and I am always here for you. 

I don't think I will ever stop loving you because my love for you was simply just pure, strong and unconditional. 

On a side note - 

I told him that I wrote a Wattpad story all about him which I refused to tell him about. I think he got a bit annoyed but I told him that I will let him read when I am ready and when I think the time is right. xD