𝐓𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞 | 𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 |

♧ 𝐓𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 ♧

TW: Attempted suicide, blood, Almost Drowning

Please if you're not comfortable with this I highly suggest to not read this chapter.

This is very sensitive so if you decided to read this i want you to take caution.

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Reader's Pov

I don't know what to do anymore, what did I expect?

I warn myself and I just believe that it's gonna be alright like I always do, I believe again, but oh god what did I do wrong to deserve this?

did I hurt anyone this much to let me go through this pain? everyday i ask myself what have I done wrong to this world to punish me.

Did I do something wrong?

Why do you have to hate me so much to let me suffer?

I hug myself, absorbing the sadness and loneliness that I can't barely escape now.

I let my shaking hands cover my mouth to stop myself from crying out loud. I feel so tired now, there's nothing that I can hold on to.

There's no one to hold on to.

Even myself.

How I wish to just disappear in this world.

Please someone take me so I don't have to do it myself.

I tried to hold onto the thin thread, I tried to look for something positive, I desperately looked for something.

Anything to just hold onto, just a little bit of positive to hold on, just a little bit of that is all I want.

I want someone to lift me, I'm tired of being alone, I'm tired of having no one.

I want to scream out this pain. Until I have nothing to scream out.

it's too much, it's drowning me, it's burning me.

I want to let go. I want to run away from this cruel world.

I want to reassure myself that everything is going to be alright even though it's not.

That sweet lie that I've been telling myself, but it seems impossible now.

I let myself believe that I'm fine because I thought that making myself believe that I'm fine will make me fine.

I'm tired, I'm tired of trying, trying to convince myself that my pain has a purpose.

What is the purpose of this unending torture?

I always try to look at the positive part.

Pain is becoming my home now, taking me to its side, making me feel something.

I went to the bathroom, staring at the tub that is inviting me, pulling me, I want to rest, I want to feel peaceful, when I'm finally tired of crying, I fell asleep, sleep is my only escape from this reality, closing my eyes for one last time, I let the water hug my lungs, at that time I was willing, i smile for the last time, as the darkness envelops me in its arms, kissing the bits of life that i have inside me.

Severus' Pov

I went back to the house because something was telling me that something was happening.

I noticed y/n was not in the living room like I left her, I immediately went to my office finding it open, there I saw her looking at the pensieve.

My heart skips a beat, this is what I've been so scared of, how can I be so careless!?

I trusted her to not go in here, but she didn't trust me. I strolled quickly towards her but I'm too late. She had already seen everything.

I wrapped my arms around her waist to remove her from the pensieve.

"Let go!" She shouts at me, wiggling against my grasp, my heart completely shattered, she forcefully tries to escape me.

She looked around the room, I know she didn't know what to do now, I tried to approach her. She's not breathing well. I examined her body she's trembling, her knees gave up on her.

She let out a desperate gasp. Trying her hardest to gather some air.

I look away from her. I can't see her being this vulnerable.
it pained me to know that I've been the cause of her pain, I saw her eyes.

Her eyes held strong hatred towards me.

my whole body ran cold when I met her eyes that are filled with fury. The emotion in.

It terrifies me...

As if she wanted to take my heart with her bare hands and crush it in front of me.

She stands up with her own feet, her movements are painfully slow as she tries to gain composure.

She gave me one last look before going to her room.

The Pensive caught my attention, the sound of the crow is all I can hear. I let out a rigid breath trying to process what happened.

I look around the room, immediately casting a silencing charm, I throw my wand away.

I breathe heavily, trying to control my anger but it's no use. I grab the closest thing around me and I angrily throw it at the wall.

I throw the things that my hand reaches when I calm down, I grip the flask in my hand tightly till it breaks my hands, I feel the broken glass cutting my skin but I don't care about it.

I ran my bloody hand to my hair, the blood is now on my hair but I couldn't care less.

I ran to her room before I could grab the doorknob, I heard a sound that broke me, I put my forehead against the door, finally letting myself let out my emotion as I heard her brokedown in her room.

I cried with her even though she didn't know, if only I could just take away her pain. I would do it.
The fear rose when I heard nothing from her room. My mind immediately thought something happened.

I twist the knob furiously, the blood not helping me. I push the door with my body when it finally opens, I look for her, my soul leaves my body when I see her lying in the bathtub, her face pale, the life inside me dies down as I look into her body, flashbacks come to my mind.

I waste no time. I carry her. I don't care, I just want her to be safe, I stop myself from crying when I feel her cold body.

I place her in her bed, my wand is not with me, she coughs and opens her eyes suddenly, I'm relieved at the same time hurt, I hug her crying my heart out, I don't know why but she taps my shoulders.

I kiss her head, leaving my lips longer as I breathe in her scent, swaying her in my arms.

I don't want to let her go, for now, I want her to feel someone, even that someone is me.

I know she didn't want me now, but I can't leave her alone.

I want to punch myself, that's what I should've done even before.

I close my eyes letting my warmth embrace her cold body, I let her sleep

She needs sleep, we'll talk about this when she's ready and well-rested. I felt like I had lost myself when I saw her, her body that no longer has color and life.

She is between life and death, and I'm so close to losing her. That's what I'm most afraid of, losing her.

She's my world, and I don't know what I would do if I lost her.

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