𝐓𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞 | 𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 |

♧ 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 ♧

Let me know what your thoughts are<3
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He looks at your almost lifeless body, his heart felt like it was stabbed so many times by a knife.

He still can't believe that you did that to yourself, you're so strong in his eyes.

but even the strongest fighter also gets tired and weak.

You are so quiet about your feelings that he doesn't know that you are suffering secretly, did he not know or he just ignores you.

He should've been there for you. He should've lifted you up when you are at the lowest point of your life.

He should have been the one who helps you in those times of resentment.

But where is he?

He's not there when you need him the most.

No one was there for you. You endured all the pain, you got tired and you tried to end it all.

He wiped the tears that dripped from his eyes. He is like a child who is naive in this world, he doesn't know what to do, he's helpless and he hates being helpless.

Severus kissed your temple before leaving your room, he went back to his office. repairing the things that he broke, he runs a hand to his hair.

Helooks at the Pensieve hatred and bitterness seeping from his eyes, he couldn't help but hate the Pensieve now. He almost lost you because of it.

He stopped himself, is it really the Pensieve's fault?

He knew the answer to that question.

But he didn't want to admit it. But he knew it's because of his negligence.

Karma got the best of him and he deserved it.

Hehurt you and now he had to suffer the consequences of his actions.

It's too much... for him and especially for you. He sat down immediately pouring himself a glass of alcohol. It's unhealthy for him.

but it's the only thing that can help relax him now, putting his head on his hands. The only thing he could do was sigh.

He needed to think, he wanted to clear things for his good, he wanted the real and honest answer from him.

But not at this moment. He's not in his right mind, he also needs to rest.

He wanted to stay at your side. but not tonight, it will remind him of everything that has happened.

He emptied his glass, hardly placing his glass at the table, it hit the table so hard that it broke. Severus stared at the broken glass.

Comparing you to the glass.

If he apologizes to it, nothing will happen because the damage is already done, that's what you're feeling, he already ruined you.
Severus feels his eyes watering at the realization.

Now realizing that he's the reason for all your sufferings.

He wants to let out his anger, just by anything. but he didn't know what. He grips his hair hard to the point that it feels like it's being pulled out of his scalp.

He lets out a grunt. He has no time to fix the glass. He snatches the whole bottle and he chugs it like he hasn't drunk in his whole life.

He coughs, he looks pathetic, to be honest, but he didn't care no one would judge anyways.

he hadn't experienced this type of pain anymore, knowing that he was the cause of this whole chaos.

He's changing now, he shouldn't feel guilty, but seeing you like that makes him feel guilty.

He should be unbreakable, but with one look on your face, his facade will automatically fade.

the facade that he built piece by piece and almost impossible for someone to break it, but then again you're not just someone.

You are very special to him.

You're his only light in this world. You completed him.

You're like the missing piece in his puzzle, the puzzle that he himself can't piece together, you came in and completed it yourself without knowing it.

Without knowing anything that you did to him, he can't help but love you. The fact that you're doing it without being aware of it, says that you're just being yourself.

He could go on forever. But can you?

Can you go on now?

Do you have any reason to continue?

he didn't know what to do, he can't decide for your will. He can't do anything with your life.

He's just a part of it.

He looks at the glass that contains a flower in it. he summons it, he shakily kisses it before breaking it with his hands.

He clenches his fist, the broken pieces and the thorn of the flower piercing in his hands, he closes his eyes.

Now embracing the pain that he's feeling.

He let the remorse swallow him up.

He chuckles bitterly.

Just yesterday you're both over the moon, and now the world is over for both of you.

Why did I do this to you?

Severus asks himself, because of his selfish love for you.

You didn't want any of this, you didn't even have any idea what this is about.

yes he wants to keep you safe but mainly he wants you all to himself, he wants you to be his.

He only wanted you and your love.

He's too blinded by his love that he didn't notice you suffering.

He thought that you would be okay.

He always thought that you're okay, he let himself believe that you would soon accept this.

Because of his potion and spell, but your mind is too strong, he became too complacent in everything.

He didn't think that something would go wrong, he didn't think about your feelings. He was too selfish, he only thinks about himself and not you.

Is this what you deserve?

No, you deserve every good in this world, but he cannot give it to you as he himself didn't know what is good in this wretched world.

He's used to cruelty that he thought you are too, you're so strong like he always said.

you're so strong that he thought you were so used to cruelty, maybe you are used to it, but this time. You got tired, he saw how you fight everything in your mind, you handle everything with ease.

But did you really handle it?

Or you just ignored it?

That's why you get into a breaking point and just explode, he stares at his wounded hand, blood trickling from the wound.

if everything could just be fixed, perhaps you would be okay.

He has to let you go, but in one condition, he's too tired now to think of the condition.

He sleeps at his desk, his wounded hand now forgotten.

As he fell into a slumber with the guilt being his only comfort..

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