Stand.

One Last Look

Louis pulled up at what I assumed was the station. I looked at him a little confused because he clearly did not realise that I infact was not familiar with the city, I did not live in it. I took a deep breathe.

"Is this it?" I said looking at him with a daze, I was a bit lost in thought, and to be quite honest a little lost in a nap. I hadn't had proper sleep in two days.

"Yes." He said with a suprising bit of coldness. I sat up and looked at him. He took in a sharp breathe and parting his lips as if to speak. I shocked both him and myself by speaking up first, the one thing I refused to loose, after everything so far, was control.

"It's not like it mattered, any of this. we were just fooling around, being stupid, like you said." His looked dazed for a moment something flashed through hus eyes, something I could not recognise, or even wanted to. They then went back to the cold indifference I saw before. An admirable amount to non chalance to parallel the one I was playing up right now.

"Yes, like I said. It's not like we even had time to develop any feelings for eachother. And I'm leaving on tour next week. I won't be home till the end of year. We should be sensible about this." He said, his hands still wrapped around the steering wheel, the urge to turn and see if they were white was strong, but I resisted.

"I like a rational man." I said and smirked. He returned it, though it never did touch his eyes. To be fair, neither did mine. "Well thanks I suppose, it was nice..um..meeting you?" He chuckled a little.

"You too Miss Daniels. Absolute pleasure." He said. I smiled, he turned and got out of the car and I looked a bit confused till I saw him come around to my side and open the door. I laughed at the rare specimen of a gentleman and how weird it seemed. I grinned at him as he opened the door.

"What?" He asked with an amused expression on his face.

"I've never, in all my life met a guy who opened a door for me." I said with a chuckle as I grabbed the hand he was extending, he tried to pull me up even though I was more than capable of getting out of a car without any help. Once I was out he still hadn't let go of my hand.

"What kind of men have you been around, I'm sorry not men, boys obviously." He said with a little exasperation.

"Well clearly I don't have great taste." I said with emphasising on the 'clearly' as I gestured at him with my eyes, he faked offense.

"If I remember correctly, Miss Daniels." He said with dramatic emphasis, his hand still grasped around mine tightly. "You seemed to have said that I was infact the best sex you've ever had." 'Damn it.' I thought, this is why I don't speak after sex.

"A overexagerration in the heat of the moment I assure you." I said with a casual tone.

"Passion doesn't lie."

"Neither does incompetence."  There was a pause, after which he spoke again.

"I'm really going to miss you." His hand suddenly felt warmer around mine, I smiled at him, unable to muster a more appropriate response. Suddenly he pulled me in, maybe for a hug. In the midst of the awkward exchange, unable to think about what to do, or let's be honest think in general. I did the stupidest thing. As he tried to send me off with a decent hug, I smacked him on his cheek. I actually pecked him with my dry scrapy lips, doused in sticky chapstick. I could feel his entire body stiffen at the most unexpected gesture of affection to expect from someone well over the age of ten. As I slowly backed away I felt like I saw everything happen in slow motion. His eyes were a little wide and he was frozen like I had just fondled his soul in the middle of the station parking lot. Our hands were somehow still stuck together, like they were literally stuck together. My eyes were wide to a shocking capacity I did not know exsisted till this moment. The string of profanities in my mind were a beautiful soundtrack to the situation. 

There we were, both of us wide eyed, me staring at him and him staring at the personified shape of regret he was probably seeing in the empty space behind me. Then he turned to me, I, grateful to not have broken him, and again tightening the grip on my now very moist palm he pulled me into something I never thought I would get from him again. A kiss.

He gently nibbled at my lower lip as I parted my lips, getting the hint loud and clear. He laced his free hand into my hair as an involuntary shiver ran down my spine making me feel like I would fall flat on the tarmac if he wasn't holding me as tight as he was right now. I put my free hand around his neck and pulled him into me harder. Our other hands were still held tight together in the space between us as he moved his a little to lace our fingers together like two puzzle pieces. Gently then he pulled back, both of our panting more urgent than the train's, that could be heard from the distance. He made no attempt to move more than a dissmisable inch from my face and I dared not move at all. Our lips were still brushing at the tip as I had my eyes squinted shut.

"I am so." He said, pausing to pant as I opened my eyes the slightest to glance at his face. His breathe smelled like Earl Grey. His eyes were shut. "I am so sorry." He said as he opened his eyes as well and gave a chuckle as his eyes met mine. I gave him a very weak smile as I kept panting.

"Don't be." I said. I honestly did not mind at all. He then pulled away as he took a sharp breathe. The delicious flavour of Earl Grey invading my senses like a welcomed obstruction. I breathing in as well, smiling as my eyes involutarily fluttered shut.

As I opened them while I breathed out, I saw him staring at me with a look that meant he was thinking about something else. When he noticed my eyes on him he gave me a small smile. 

" I think your train is here, love." He said as I looked at my watch to pretend like I did not know. There was an unexpected lump in my throat as I looked up into his eyes, realising that this was probably the last time I would see them without a screen in between. I looked down again as my dark hair covered my face, fixing the buckle on my coat that was fine from before. With one more deep breathe I looked up and with a more confident voice than I would have managed a mere second ago. I said that I knew and that I should be going. Then without another word I turned around and started walking. I walked a little slow at first waiting for something I wasn't even sure of, then I picked up pace as my eyes stinged with betrayal. I could not believe I was going to cry. As I reached a good distance and turned to purchase a ticket. I quickly looked back to see him still standing there with an expression of someone far away. As my vision clouded I said a frail and broken thank you to the person giving me my ticket as I turned my face from him one last time. Then I walked to the platform and into the train.