Stand.

'Makes The Two Of Us.'

After a while Louis came back, the tank full, and a huge bag of what I assumed was food for the road, did he think we were on a road trip? He got in and handed me my phone, thanking me and I started driving again, for a long while none of us said a word, Louis wordlessly looked out the window. After the silence reached an unbearable level I took in a deep breath. Louis turned to me like he was waiting.

"I've never met someone's family." I said honestly, gripping the steering wheel.

"Not even yours? What a shame." He said casually.

"You know what I mean." I said sharply.

"Enlighten me." He said with the same cocky ease.

"I've never, like never met a boy's family or anything." I hesitated for a second then let out with a sigh. This was just the best situation to be in.

"So are you saying?" He paused I took another quick glance to see amusement dancing in his eyes . "Are you saying I'm your first?" He said, I didn't need to turn to see the grin on his face. I just sighed, I wasn't in a mood to play 'who's the sassiest' with him at the moment.

"Yes, yes you are." I said.

"And why is that?" He asked, I sensed a change in his tone from playful to serious. I felt his gaze heat up.

"Because I've never had a serious relationship, guys don't usually jump at the opportunity to make their family meet their current conquest, or casual fuck buddy. Depending on the mood." I said a little irritated.

"Why have you never had a serious relationship?" He asked like it was an intensely important question. I groaned in frustration then pulled over. I spoke up with a lot more anger, staring out the windshield.

"Because I'm absolute shit at them. I'm selfish and self-centred, I am driven mad by ambition. I barely have the time for cuddling at the park or getting cozy on a couch while watching Pretty fucking Women, I don't particularly enjoy feeding a partners insecurity by telling them that I love them and need them every other minute, not that I could if I wanted, I am absolute shit at expressing feelings. I just happened to enjoy sex, very much and I acquire it. The rest is just unnecessary complications." I turned to look at him with a serious but pleading face. "I only take Louis. I keep taking and I have nothing to offer in return." I said and finally breathed in, expecting a weight to lift off, but I just felt heavier. Louis looked calm but I noticed his fist clenched dangerously tight.

"Are you done?" He said, breathing deeply, like he was trying not to burst.

"Yes." I said simply as I kept looking at him.

"I call bullshit." He said still breathing heavy.

"What do y-" Before I could finish his hand went up.

"You've said what you have to, It's my move." He said then put his hand down. "You think it's that simple? That if you just keep telling people and yourself that you aren't worth it then all of us will believe you? You tell me how terrible you are and I get the hint at run the other way? You're so hell bent on trying to survive on your own that you've just tricked yourself into believing you can't survive with people around you, but you've got it wrong. We don't choose to have people around us Rachael we need them. You are just as scared of people leaving as you are depending on it. I don't know or care about what happened to you before that led you to feel like this but do hear me out and if you can let your stubborn mind allow it, trust me. No one can survive on their own and you know that very well, we both know why we were in that club, drunk over our minds that night and take my word for it, it wasn't for casual bunny fucking." He scoffed, this time my breathing erratic.

"Why are you doing this? I'm not a project that needs work. I'm a human being and I've survived this long, I don't need you to fix me." I said, my voice barely a whisper.

"I'm not trying to fix you!" He said loudly causing me to jerk. "I'm trying to make you see." He said with a softer tone. "You're perfect the way you are, I've seen that, I know that. You just need to understand that someday you'll have to come out from behind whatever you're hiding."

"What? for you?" I said with more bitterness then I probably should have. He just smiled sadly

"No sadly I think I'm just one of the many you're going to leave behind. Clearly I'm not the one who can break through." He said with so much pain I wanted to scream at him to stop. I laughed at him instead.

"Now you don't understand." I said with a laugh and turned away from him. Breathing steady to stop tears of anger from erupting.

"No, sadly I've figured you out. And you won't change your ways, not yet anyways." He sighed after a pause. "Not for me." His hurt was coming off him like waves. I hit the steering wheel hard with my hands and turned to him.

"Can't you see I already have?" I screamed so loud I felt like my lungs burning. Louis looked at me in shock. My tears flowed out freely now, I wondered if anger was the only reason. "You're so certain you've got me all figured out and that I'm sitting behind a wall of clusterfuck. You don't even know me you smug bastard. How many guys do you think made me want to stay past a morning? How many guys have ever made me feel unsure of my next move? How many people have left me as intrigued with them and confused with myself as you have? Fuck all that, how many guys have I even remembered the names of, nonetheless missed for six straight months to the point that other people felt inadequate and sex didn't feel meaningless anymore. You think I have a small opinion of myself but you can't even see something right in front of you. I'm not shutting you out because you're just not the one to wiggle into my inner self, I'm trying to stay away from you because you absolutely terrify me. What you're doing to me, what you've done, It's absolutely petrifying. You cracked me open you blind twat! You're the one who's too caught up in your delusions to see it you arrogant bastard!" I finally let out then raged out the car, feeling it close in on me.

I walked away from the car, tears still falling from my face. I put a shaky hand on my forehead and tried to wrap my mind around everything I had just said, something I was essentially denying myself all this while. My eyes squinted shut as the sense of helplessness kicked in, I had no clue about what was going to happen next and I was scared to my core because of it.

"Hey." I heard his voice from behind. I turned with the same expression I held. His softened as he tried to get words out. He shuffled around awkwardly for a moment, still clearly riled up. He then ran his fingers through his hair and let it fall with a loud slap on his thigh.

"You're so excruciatingly pig-headed, fuck you!" He said angrily while walking up to me. I walked back a little.

"Makes the two of us!" I screamed at him, tears still flowing down my eyes as the occasional car whizzed by.

"Shut up." He said with a frustrated sigh and pulled me into him for a deep kiss. If I had thought I had ever felt emotions before this, I was wrong. At this moment; standing at the edge of a highway, tears in my eyes and an absolute arrogant jackass intertwined with me, this was emotions, this was every emotion one knows possible to even be felt. This was absolutely terrifying and frustrating and dare I say amazing. I felt like I had memorised every part of him, I had surrendered to him, but I have never felt more free. He pulled back and pecked my lips a number of times before I giggled, it sounding broken from my light sobs. He pulled away and looked at me with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen on another person.

"I hate you." I whispered and we both laughed. He kissed my forehead.

"Oh that's okay, I'll make it work, since you know I'm an arrogant bastard." We both laughed.

"Your move." He said while tucking my hair behind my ears. "Let's drive a little far up, there's this place that sells the ice cream. And they make it all by hand." He said then pulled me away to the car. I smiled.

"I could really use some ice cream right now." I said, sniffing a little before I wiped my eyes and got into the driver's seat. We both buckled in and I sighed again.

"We'll figure it out." He simply said and I smiled and started the car, trusting him.