The Owl House Texting Stories

Everyone Goes Insane

[Chaotic Hexside Children]

EddieBoi: hi broskis 

Golden Boi: *swats with flyswatter*

EddieBoi: *cries in owwie pain*

Oblivious Much?: please no 

EddieBoi: *eats table like shark in offended anger*

Golden Boi: *backflips cutely*

Oblivious Much?: NOPE WE'RE NOT DOING THAT CUTELY THING AGAIN OKAY

Golden Boi: fine *sad llama face*

EddieBoi: ohno look what you did

EddieBoi: his face is so sad

EddieBoi: and so-

EddieBoi: ...

EddieBoi: llama-y

Oblivious Much?: I'm sowwy 

Golden Boi: it's owkay 

Gay Panic: what's going on

Oblivious Much?: oh hi Amiwty 

Gay Panic: tf

Golden Boi: hwwwiiiii

Gay Panic: Guys wtf-

Oblivious Much?: sorry wrong number

Gay Panic: what?

Oblivious Much?: stupid autocorrect 

Golden Boi: nom nom nom

EddieBoi: carrots are yum yum in my tum tum an a bun bun BUNNNNYYYY!

Golden Boi: YAYYYYY :D

Golden Boi: I'm cool

Oblivious Much?: no

Golden Boi: *stealz kneecapz like a cool kid* 

Oblivious Much?: wow much cool

Gay Panic: WTF?

Golden Boi: ring ring ring 

EddieBoi: banana phone 

Golden Boi: yes? *picks up phone in Spanish*

EddieBoi: can we pretend that your car's extended warranty is like a shooting star

Golden Boi: I could really use a warranty right now warranty right now warranty right now

Gay Panic: guys are you all possessed or something 

Oblivious Much?: m

Gay Panic: what

Oblivious Much?: guys guess what

Golden Boi: what

Oblivious Much?: CHICKEN BUTT >:]

Godlen Boi:        >:0

Oblivious Much?: welmcon

Mean Gurl: what

Oblivious Much?: are you from loser town because you're a loser

Mean Gurl: ...

Mean Gurl: *s o b s*

Oblivious Much?: baby shark

Gay Panic: NO

Gay Panic: EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING

Golden Boi: 'cause I'm about to ruin

Gay Panic: Wh-

Golden Boi: Pfft idk 

Gay Panic: ARE YOU ALL OKAY?

Oblivious Much?: honestly no 

EddieBoi: what do you think mittens?

Gay Panic: yeah no idk why I asked

Golden Boi: anyways

Golden Boi: *juggles your kneecaps like a magician* 

Oblivious Much?: talent 

Golden Boi: ikr now giv me your snails

Oblivious Much?: The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Golden Boi: shut up at least I'm not a talking frog

Oblivious Much?: Got me there

Gay Panic: hm guys I can't seem to find my braincells

Gay Panic: they seem to be disappearing at an alarming rate

Oblivious Much?: oh no I'll help

Gay Panic: no that's alright you already failed to find your own

Oblivious Much?: 😭 

Gay Panic: IM SORRY

Oblivious Much?: I forgive you :) 

Golden Boi: who?

Oblivious Much?: Ami-

Golden Boi: ASKED 😎 

Oblivious Much?: ...

Oblivious Much?: 😭 

Gay Panic: did you just cut her off over text? 

Golden Boi: just what happens when you're a cool kid 

EddieBoi: whooooaa so cool

Golden Boi: gnarly dude 

Mean Gurl: *still sobbing in the corner*

Flowers: pat pat pat 

Mean Gurl: *gasp* I CAN SMELL ALL THE COLORS OF THE RAINBOW! IM A TRUE GAY LIKE OUR GREAT AND MIGHTY GAY MASTER AMITY NOW!

Flowers: I'm proud 

Gay Panic: as honored as I am to be called the Gay Master I've got a feeling I should be concerned over the fact you're being a little more mentally insane than usual 

Golden Boi: my mental state is gone buster

Gay Panic: I already know, BUSTER. 🙄 

Golden Boi: 😭 

Oblivious Much?: fly like the wind I like to fly like a wiiiIiIiiIiiInNNNnnDddD 

Gay Panic: Luz are you alright-

Oblivious Much?: lol aside from the fact I'm about to break the fourth wall yeah

Gay Panic: ...what?

Oblivious Much?: bye    r e a d e r s  👋 

Owl Mom: hoot hoot motherfucker 

Gay Panic: SERIOUSLY WTF IS GOING ON