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Unusually, I was feeling very motivated today unlike others. With my depression and social anxiety, I find i very hard to find this in everyday life. So when I do have motivation, I like to use it to the best of my abilities. As I was walking down the stairs I was about to go say bye to taylor but then I heard her talking on the phone. I no it isn't God to ease drop but ehats the worse she could be saying. "I know. Like, she been so damn lazy lately. Like seriously, girl won't do shit around the house. And she's been really clingy, as if I'm supposed to stay in bed with her all day too", taylor said. Then the person on the other line spoke once more, "like it literally is. And she's always so overly dramatic and sensitive about EVERYTHING. Complains 24/7, is super loud in bed, nothings every good enough, every little thing that happens she takes to heart. I mean I love her more than anything, but sometimes she can just be so extra", taylor said and laughed at what the other person had to say.
I felt embarrassed. As I was listening to what she thought I about me, I started to think I wasn't good enough. All I've ever wanted was for her to be happy, and if that means I have to change than so be it. It might be a struggle but I'll try my hardest. I need to change, for taylor.
I just left without saying goodbye, and when I did get to the gym, I worked out my body to its max. By the time I was finished I was sweating bullets and could barely catch my breath. As I got into the car and quickly chugged some water, taylor was calling me. "Yello!", I said, trying to sound as normal as possible. "Hi baby, Where'd you go?", she asked. "Oh I just went to the gym", I told her. "Ugh, you should've said something, we could've gone together", she sighed. "Oh hehe, sorry", I giggled. "Its okay babygirl", she said. We talked for a few more minutes before hanging up. When I got home she pulled me into a hug, "wanna go upstairs and cuddle maybe rest a litle?", she asked. "Nah I'm good, I feel pretty awake", I lied. "You sure? I know you've been pretty tired lately", she said and looked me in the eyes. I tried my best to seem fine and just hoped that she'd run with it. "Hm, okay", she said and went upstairs, probably to work on a few songs.
That day, I cleaned up a bit and made dinner. Something I currently am not fond of doing. To be honest, I was exhausted just from this. But maybe if I do it more often it'll become more of a habit than a chore. As we finished dinner and put the dishes in the sink, I walked up to it and turned on the faucet, getting ready to do the rest of the dishes. "No, no, no baby I'll do these. You've been cleaning all day, its my turn", taylor said as she walked up to me. "No really its fine. I'll do them", I told her. "Okay, if you insist", she smiled, hoping I'd return one back. But all I did was nod and give a short and obviously fake smile before turning back to the sink. When I was done, I walked to the couch where taylor was sitting. "Oh you're done, C'mere babygirl let's watch this show. I heard it's really good", taylor said and patted a seat next to her.
I wanted to watch the movie, but I needed to clean the bedroom. "Umm I don't know. I was going to pick up the bedroom a bit actually", I told her. "In that case, I'll help", she said and got up. "Okay", I said and we walked up the stairs.
Taylor pov
These last couple of days, y/n had been acting strange. She keeps cleaning and cooking a bunch, is constantly working out, is as quiet as a mouse in bed, doesn't have anything negative to say about anything at all, she started just letting things go. And is being EXTREMELY distant from me. I have no idea whats going on, but thats what I'm gonna go find out. "Babygirl!", I yelled from the bedroom. She came walking inside, "yeah?", she asked and sat on the bed. "Whats going on baby? Why are you being like this?", I ask, but she just frowned. "Like what?", she asked. "Um I don't know, like how you're being extremely insensitive and just stopped being yourself. You won't stop working around the house, making me feel like some damn husband from the 50s. What happened? Baby please just talk to me", I pleaded. She just sighed.
"I heard you on that phone call.", she said. "What phone- oh shit!", I said, instantly regretting everything I had said that day. "Baby I'm so so so sorry, I promise I didn't mean anything at all. You're perfect. I'd stay in bed with you everyday forever if that meant you could be mine. I'm so sorry babydoll, I sounded so mean. I would never mean that about you, I love you too much", she apologized over and over again.
After hearing what she had to say, I felt a lot better of myself. "I accept your apology tay, just don't talk shit again. Cuz next time its going straight to slapahoe", I told her and she laughed. "Okay, C'mere", she said and pulled me into her arms.
