Make Me Wild

Favorite Sexual Position?

My problems didn't begin until I got home on Friday. My roommate, Jim...my best friend who is like a brother to me...was my friend.

"Dude, you're here! Right...on...time. What's your favorite sexual position?" Jim asked me with a straight face.

"What?" I stared at him. I sat. "I just walked in? What?" Surely, he didn't just ask what my favorite sexual position was?

Jim chuckled. "I'm making a profile for you on a dating app. I mean it's Friday night and I guarantee that your idea of a good night is finding ice cream in the freezer."

I scoffed. "I will not! I have tons of plans for tonight!"

Jim laughed. "Like...?"

I had nothing and he knew what my plans were. "I'm out of ice cream!" I straightened up. "So, I have to go shopping later!"

Jim just laughed. "So, favorite sexual position?"

"I'm not answering that!" I blushed. "Do not put anything for that." I turned the computer. "Is that really a question?"

It wasn't.

Jim had finished my profile and was sending out little kisses to people already. Swiping right or something. I never did these sites. I didn't really date. I just joined the human race!

Jim gasped. "Dude, you got a message already!"

"From the company saying thanks for using our app!" I was being sarcastic but honest.

"No! It's from some guy named... bigtower2121!" Jim chuckled. "Not the worst name!"

"What's mine." I glared at him because he was laughing.

"Snowykitten2323." He smiled at me.

"NO! That's awful and what does 2323 mean?" I was deleting this soon.

"It's the year that I estimated that you will get laid!" Jim laughed.

"It's 2019?"

Jim was laughing but managed to talk. "I know but it will take until 2323! It's my guess!"

I stood up. "I hate you. I'm getting mint chip, you want something?"

"Cookie dough." Jim was still on the computer. He had to sleep sometime and when he did, that app was gone.

I walked in with four kinds of ice cream. "There was a sale!" I smiled as I unloaded the bags.

Jim shrugged. "Who cares. You have a date for Sunday night with bigtower2121!"

"What!" I wasn't going. "I'm not going to meet some stranger... and that's a work night!"

"Yes, you are! I'm so sick of you just hanging out here! Do you know how tough it is to get laid here when you're always here!" Jim glared at me.

"But I live here!" I glared at him.

"Yes, you live here, shower here, jack off here, read here, cook here and sometimes you even work here! See! You're always here and I love you, Utah but you are always here! You need to get out to some destination that isn't work or the ice cream aisle!" Jim glared at me.

I knew he was right though but I wasn't going on a date with a stranger.

Thanks for reading!