Charlie(mind) 3: Oh my Fucking Shit.

Trapped

Charlie briefly lit up the storage room with the light of his restoration gun as he restored Gonzo and then the enderman, who Pyramid Head grabbed immediately after he was reanimated and said, "It's pitch fucking black down here, help me find the things I need to start a fire with your glowing eyes."
"Ok," The enderman smiled, still crushing on Pyrmaid Head because of Stockholm syndrome, "We need some oak logs, some sticks and one piece of coal-"
"Jesus are you from the fucking stone age?! All we need is some gasoline and a lighter!!" Pyramid Head snapped. "I'm from minecraft." The enderman explained bluntly. "MEIN KAMPF!!!" Gru screeched. "Gru, you better not say that, you might get cancelled." Charlie pointed out, and Gru turned to him with a leer and said, "You cannot cancel that which cannot be categorised or defined."
"I found some gasoline!" The enderman called to Pyramid Head, who grabbed a chair, smashed it into pieces on the ground in roughly the centre of the storage room and said, "Bring it over here and then go and see if you can find a lighter."
"Like, flint and steel?" The enderman asked as he handed Pyramid Head the bottle of gasoline. "No, like a fucking lighter!! Just look for a box that has the word 'lighter' or 'lighters' on it." Pyramid Head snapped, pouring the entire bottle of gasoline on the broken chair. After a few minutes of searching, the enderman handed Pyramid Head a box of lighters, and Pyramid Head lit one and dropped it onto the decimated gasoline-saturated chair. The chair burst into a pillar of flame and Pyramid Head grabbed a nearby beanbag, dragged it beside the fire and slumped down into it saying, "We're trapped down here, aren't we."
"Yep!" Charlie grinned, also sitting beside the fire and warming his many hands. "This is probably the worst place ever to have an acid trip." Pyramid head muttered. "Don't be so negative Toblerone triangle, we're in a mall's storage room! We have all the junk food we can eat, all the booze we can drink, and loads of shitty toys to keep us entertained!" Charlie grinned. "Huh. When you put it like that I guess it's not so bad." Pyramid Head mused, leaning back into his beanbag. "Forgive me if I'm incorrect, but couldn't the enderman teleport us all out of here?" David asked. "My teleportation range is limited. I think I could make it to the surface though and see if there's any gorillas around." The enderman replied. "I think that would be a logical course of action." David said, a small half-smile tugging at the corner of his lip and briefly letting his veil of being even vaguely sane fall before his face went back to normal again. "O... ok." The enderman said, and vanished with a small 'vwoop' noise in a purple mist. About a minute went by and then the enderman reappeared again, falling to the floor and hyperventilating. "What is it?! What did you see?!!" Pyramid Head shouted. "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!" The enderman yelled hysterically. "Who's everywhere?! Mother?!!" Gonzo screeched. "The gorillas!! I don't know how but they're everywhere, I teleported a few times and they're just.... everywhere!! It's like a fucking plague!!! They're even swarming areas miles from here!!!" The enderman cried. "WHAT THE FUCK?!!!" Pyramid Head yelled, looking around for answers. "Ah, yes. Well..." David began. "David, I fucking swear-" Pyramid Head hissed, grabbing David by his shoulders. "You see," David began again, "I may have modified my gorillas DNA ever so slightly to give them the ability to infect and impregnate a host with their dandruff, giving them an extremely rapid and unpredictable reproduction rate." Pyramid Head seemed to be frozen in time for a second, then he let out a furious roar and began to beat David viciously with his fists. David didn't even fight back, simply accepting the beating with a smug grin, knowing he had already won. "Oh god, we really are trapped in here! We can never leave!! Because of all these fucking gorillas!!" The enderman cried. "Wait... guys.... how do we know one of us isn't already infected? What if one of us just suddenly has a xenomorph gorilla burst out our chest?!" Charlie pointed out. "Oh GOD!!!" The enderman sobbed. "For fucks SAKE!!!!" Pyramid Head yelled, performing a flying jump double side kick on Gonzo in the stomach, who went flying back into the darkness of the storage room with a manic laugh and crashed roughly into something, the others hearing the impact from the blackness that surrounded the chair campfire. "Man, I'm hallucinating." Charlie grinned. "I'm starting to feel really fucking weird." The enderman mumbled, stumbling towards a pile of blankets and collapsing down into them. Gonzo went sprinting out the shadows and screamed, "GUYS, AN OCTOPUS JUST ATTACKED ME!!!"
"You're tripping Gonzo, chill," Charlie grinned, grabbing a mattress and lying down on it saying, "Guys, you- you don't understand. I'm hallucinating so much it's like I'm blind, they're just taking up my whole vision.."
"My eyes can't focus on one spot, they keep jumping around. W-why can't I focus my eyes..." The enderman whispered. "Yo, what if, like.... the land is actually water and the water is land." Gonzo mumbled, sitting down on the blankets beside the enderman. "Explain." Pyramid Head replied bluntly. "Like, how do I know that the air that I breath is.... I breath it like it's oxygen but what if it's not. What if it's water. Like the American flag, look at the American flag. It's got a bunch of stripes but what if they're not stripes at all, what if they're tentacles. And the stars in the corner, what if they're not stars, what if they're eyes. And there it is, the American octopus. The American octopoedus. Thats- thats what attacked me earlier." Gonzo rambled. "Man I fucking hope this isn't water." The enderman said with a look of concern. "The fire is speaking to me." Gonzo whispered. "I can't hear anything." Pyramid Head chimed in, staring intently into the flames. "I can see it... like, spiralling and swirling... like a galaxy...." Charlie grinned dreamily, also staring intently at the fire. "T-the fires breathing now." Gonzo stammered, beginning to tremble. Gru, who had been levitating in silence, suddenly dropped to the floor ran into the darkness. "Gru just ran off. That may be a problem in the future." Pyramid Head said flatly. "May I ask, are you all currently on LSD?" David asked. "Yeah.... if we all start eating each other you'll know why." Charlie grinned, one of his arms elongating horrifically so he could grab a snack without moving off his mattress. "Perfect." David said with an ominous smile. "What in the fuck do you mean by that?!" Pyramid Head snapped. "Speak louder to me, fire. Your gentle, crackling whispers are too quiet for me to hear." Gonzo said vacantly, leaning forwards. Because of how high he was, he misjudged the distance between himself and the fire and his nose burst into flame. "AH!! YOU BETRAYED ME!!!" Gonzo yelled, leaping up and running around frantically, screaming all the while. The enderman pointed at him with a laugh and said, "Ah yes, I remember my first time touching water too. I was in a jungle, and I saw this pig-" Gru suddenly wheeled out the darkness on a toddler tricycle, his folds dragging along the dusty storage room floor behind him as he cycled before stopping beside the fire, grinning and saying with clear glee, "Did I hear shrieks of pain?" Gonzo was still trying to extinguish his nose, running around and smashing his face off everything he could in an attempt to put the flames out, but the fire was persistent, and it wasn't long before the flames had engulfed his entire head. "G-Gonzo, hold still! I'll put you out!!" Charlie yelled, grabbing a nearby bucket of water and sloshing it onto Gonzo. "CHARLIE NO, THAT'S MY VODKA-" Pyramid Head yelled, but it was too late, and Gonzo exploded into a towering pillar of flame with a scream. "So I saw the pig swimming in the water right, and it was a really hot day, so I was like, 'cold thing, it looks cold. I'm gonna jump in', and so I jumped in and it burned my skin like acid-" The enderman continued to no one in particular. "IT BURNS!!!!!" Gonzo howled, and the enderman turned to him and slurred, "EXACTLY!!"
"So.... that whore chess piece, right. She has a sword, yeah? And she's gonna pierce your ear with it. And she's the queen chess piece, right? Would you, theoretically, let her pierce your ears?" Pyramid Head asked vacantly. "Is she qualified for it?" Charlie asked as Gonzo tore past him with a scream. "Not exactly." Pyramid Head replied, and Charlie looked briefly thoughtful before saying, "Absolutely." Gonzo finally managed to extinguish himself when he knocked over a water cooler and sent it crashing down onto the floor, smashing and flooding the area. The enderman didn't even bother to move, simply watching with a mournful smile as the pool of water got nearer and nearer and began to eat away at his legs. "You might want to move. The LSD is numbing your ability to feel pain currently, but that will hurt quite the very much tomorrow." Charlie stated. "How come Gonzo's agony wasn't numbed when he was on fire?" Pyramid Head asked as Gonzo walked past him in a smoking, blackened, charcoaly state and slouched onto the pile of blankets beside the enderman, who suddenly screamed in pain and leapt up, only just realising how much water had actually surrounded him. "Because he's a muppet." Charlie replied. "Many vorms means many squirms." Gru leered.

"I'm getting bored, what do you guys wanna do?" Charlie asked brightly, sitting up and munching a chocolate bar. "How about we all have an orgy?" Pyramid Head suggested bluntly. "I would!!" The enderman yelled. "Damn it enderwhore!" Pyramid Head snapped. "When?!" Gonzo shouted. "Well, at least most of us are getting into heaven." Charlie smiled, taking another bite of his chocolate bar. "What if I told you guys Gonzo wasn't my real name? W-would you all feel betrayed?" Gonzo asked vacantly. "Well my name is hungry! Nom nom nom!!" Charlie grinned, "Who wants lunch? I'll make hotdogs!"
"Women. They have tits, right? D-did.... is that a thing?" Pyramid Head asked, looking around in a disorientated manner, before turning to David and randomly saying, "Wait, robot freak, are you gay? You and that other robot were fruity as fuck."
"I may have homosexual tendencies." David replied. "I- I feel like I'm dying...." The enderman whispered, looking vacantly at his hands. "Me too. I am gonna die with so many regrets." Charlie smiled. "Same. I've never screwed an alien." Pyramid Head said bluntly. The enderman leaned in closer. "No. Are you even an alien?!" Pyramid head snapped. "You're not missing much guys. Do you know how hard it is to say 'stop' with an alien's dick in your mouth?!" Charlie asked. "I do!" Gonzo yelled. "I am technically an alien because I'm from a different planet. The minecraft planet." The enderman explained. "Fuck you." Pyramid Head said flatly, grabbing a burrito. The enderman looked bewildered before saying, "I've been wanting to for hours!"
"This burrito tastes like a wombat's asshole." Pyramid Head muttered, hurling his burrito across the chair campfire. Gonzo caught it perfectly in his mouth and swallowed it whole. "What the fuck is that?" Pyramid Head asked bluntly, pointing to a dusty furby lying on the floor nearby. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA MOTHERFUCKER!!" It yelled back. Charlie hit an operatic high C. The enderman began climbing onto the beanbag beside Pyramid Head, who yelled, "Stop it you homosexual!"
"Acid reflux." Gru sneered. David frowned at Pyramid Head, who had given up and now had the enderman lying on top of him. "Fuck you looking at inspector gadget?!" Pyramid Head snapped angrily. Gonzo snorted dust off the floor and then leapt up and sprinted into the darkness. "Where-" The enderman began, but before he could finish, Gonzo reemerged from the shadows carrying an antique mozart concerto model 6 grand piano that happened to be in the storage room, lifted it above his head and smashed it on the floor with a howl. "Acid reflux." Gru sneered again.

Charlie, realising that the LSD was making Gonzo violent, leaned forwards and grabbed Gonzo by the scruff of his neck. "RELEASE ME!!" He screeched. "Look, zey're trying to make a baby!" Gru shouted enthusiastically. "DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY," Pyramid Head yelled suddenly, "DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUCKING FUNNY?! DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!!" He continued, leaping up and ripping his entire dress off with one hand. The enderman felt his heart beat to the rhythm of I'm a Creeper (Minecraft's Grim Reaper.) Gru picked up an upside-down plant pot to reveal a dead rat beneath it and yelled, "I WIN!!"
"There are literally rats everywhere!!" The enderman yelled. "You're just hallucinating." Charlie replied with a grin. "I'M HAVING A MOMENT FROM MY FUCKING MOTHER!!!" Gonzo screamed. Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean stepped out from the shadows and said scottishly, "This is what happens when you take LSD. Don't do it. You'll get trapped in a storage room and go insane."