Charlie(mind) 3: Oh my Fucking Shit.

Camp Stinka-Wah-Way

"This is your amazing fucking camp, Gonzhoe?!!" Pyramid Head yelled at Gonzo, who was still recovering from being brutally choked into unconsciousness during the drive. "I love the decor." Charlie grinned, holding up a dead frog covered in maggots and roaches. "It smells like a witch's asshole." Pyramid Head observed bluntly. "There's a lot of water around here, I'm gonna head up to the camp." Endie said, teleporting over to the more firm, dry area of land the tents were pitched on. "Freak rooster, this is quite literally the most awful fucking campsite I have ever seen. Ever." Pyramid Head stated flatly as he trudged through the thick mud up to the camp. "Aw, you're just bein' nice." Radiation Rooster grinned, and Pyramid Head's body language looked beyond confused as he yelled, "I WAS QUITE LITERALLY BEING THE POLAR OPPOSITE OF NICE!!!"
"This place'll be more homey when we start up a campfire!" Charlie grinned, looking around the camp and finding a small circle of stones in which to light a campfire surrounded by moss-covered wooden log benches. "You're fucking kidding yourself, Charlie!!" Pyramid Head yelled, shaking a leech off his foot. "Gru, can you spare some highly flammable piss to help get this campfire started?" Charlie asked with a grin as he collected up sticks and branches for the fire. Gru snundled his hundle into facial expression and conked, "I alvays have spare flammable piss."
"Great." Charlie smiled, putting all his sticks in the middle of the stone circle, coughing up a blowtorch and saying, "Work your magic oh GRUesome one." Gru pranced forth, violently pissed all over the branches like a fire hydrant, and then went rolling backwards down a small slope back to the tents. Charlie lit the blowtorch, cautiously held it to the Gru-piss-saturated-logs, and leapt back with a shriek when they burst into a pillar of flame. "Guys, the campfire's lit!" Charlie called to the others with a grin. "You call this a camp?! There's only four fucking tents!!" Pyramid Head yelled at Radioactive Rooster. "You six can easily fit in four tents! A few of you will just have to bunk up." Radioactive Rooster replied with a shrug and a smile. Everyone glanced round, trying to figure out who would have to sleep in a musty waterlogged tent crowded with multiple people instead of just one. "Who wants marshmallows?" Charlie asked to lighten the mood, regurgitating a bag of marshmallows. "Moi!" Francoeur chirped. "GONZO EAT- GONZO- MARSHMALLOW- I WANT-" Gonzo howled like a deranged harpy. "It's ok Gonzo, take your time." Charlie soothed as Gonzo continued, "ME EAT- HAVE- THE MARSH- WANT- GONZO WANT MALLOW-"
"Hey, marshmallow," Francoeur giggled, "C'est funny because we're in a marsh, and we're going to eat m-"
"GONZO WANT- EAT- SWEET- MARSHAL- MAL- SHARSHM- MARSHFALLO-" Gonzo shrieked, "OH MY GOD, WOULD ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?!!!" Pyramid Head interrupted furiously. Gonzo and Francoeur fell silent, and Pyramid Head sighed and said, "Thank fuck!! Fucking unbearable!" Charlie ripped open the packet of marshmallows and chirped, "Everyone get a stick so we can toast them over the fire!" The sun was setting rapidly, plunging the marshlands into darkness, and everyone huddled around the campfire, picking up twigs and toasting their marshmallows. "How's about a good old fashioned ghost story?" Radioactive Rooster grinned. "Ok!" Charlie grinned back, sitting up attentively. "Legend has it, a mysterious creature lurks in this camp," Radioactive Rooster began, "Yeah, we know, it's sitting right in front of us in the form of a glowing, talking chicken." Pyramid Head interrupted. "A creature with clawed, shovel-like hands and hollow, black eyes," Radioactive Rooster continued, ignoring Pyramid Head, "The locals in this area know it as The Trowel, as many who claim to have come across this entity told stories of it visiting them again while they slept and whispering, 'I am The Trowel' until it drove them mad. It's also known for it's favourite activity; eviscerating campers."
"What?" Endie asked flatly with a strained smile. "That wasn't a ghost story, more of a local legend that screams, 'Do Not Fucking Camp Here'." Charlie added with a grin. "Well, it's getting dark out, and I'm a firm believer in The Trowel, what with it being common knowledge around here that it 100% exists, so I'm gonna retire to my trailer! Knock if you need anything!" Radioactive Rooster called with a smile as he walked over to his rusty trailer, stepped in and slammed the door shut, loud music immediately beginning to blare from inside the trailer. "Oh my god, oh my god..." Endie whispered, his eyes darting around the gloomy camp in a panicked frenzy. "Calm down, that freak was probably just taking the piss." Pyramid Head muttered, dropping a marshmallow into the hole in his pyramid. "J'ai peur!" Francoeur cried, clinging to Charlie. "I don't want to be out here! It's pitch black!! And I'm scared!!" Endie hissed, also grabbing onto Charlie. When afraid, more easily disturbed characters gravitated to Charlie, since he was a powerful entity and also a decent person who wouldn't hand them over to a murderer or monster. "Don't worry guys, triangle's right! That old rooster was probably joking around, trying to spook us city slickers!" Charlie said with a smile. Then, a whistling gust of wind blew out the campfire, plunging everything into an inky blackness. Endie and Francoeur screamed, and Pyramid Head sighed and snapped, "Would you calm the fuck down?! It's just the fucking wind!! Have you guys never been to the fucking countryside before?!!"
"I have, I used to live there. A code we have out here in the countryside is that weird shit will happen, and you've just gotta ignore it!" Charlie grinned. "This isn't helping me feel better." Endie whispered. "I know what'll help," Charlie said, "We should all go to our tents, snuggle down in our sleeping bags and sleep; things seem a lot less scary in the light of morning!"
"Sounds good to me, the sooner we sleep, the sooner we can leave this fucking joke of a campsite." Pyramid head muttered, glaring at Gonzo. "Agreed." Endie said, and so they all got up from around the campfire and went over to the tents. "Now to decide who'll bunk up," Charlie grinned, "Endie and Francoeur, you two are both scared, so you should sleep in the same tent to keep each other company." Francoeur and Endie glanced at each other and Endie said, "Sounds fine to me, Francoeur looks like he could beat the shit out of a monster."
"It'll be nice to have a friend." Francoeur added with a smile. "Right, that's decided. Now, only two others will have to bunk up." Charlie grinned. "Gonzo and Gru. They're both fucked up and won't know the difference." Pyramid Head said bluntly. "That's fair, would you two be ok with that?" Charlie asked. Gru snundled his facial expression inwards and herniated, "Snout."
"I don't know what we're talking about!" Gonzo grinned. "They rhymed, it's fate." Pyramid Head said flatly, walking over and ducking down into one of the tents. "Sounds logical!" Charlie grinned, also ducking into a tent and curling his centipede-like body into a spiral like a snake. Then he sunk down and vanished into the coils of his own body, using it's never-ending length to keep himself warm and comfortable. Francoeur and Endie walked over and entered the third tent, climbing into their provided, slightly damp sleeping bags and closing their eyes to sleep. Gonzo and Gru turned to each other, smirked in sync and then barrelled into the last tent, where Gru promptly regurgitated a flashing, multicoloured disco light and Gonzo reached into his ass and pulled out a massive rave speaker, and they began to dance and screech along to 'Just Dance' by Lady Gaga, which was blaring through the speakers at full volume. Everyone else had been given earplugs by Charlie, who expected this to happen, and they all drifted into a deep, exhausted sleep....