Charlie(mind) 3: Oh my Fucking Shit.

A Night in the Jungle

The voice belonged to Nosferatu, who stumbled out the trees and collapsed, gasping out one final, "Bloooodd......"
"Pathetic." A very Australian voice said, and a group of Australians who had been on the plane heading home stepped into the clearing after Nosferatu. Being Australian, they were all completely unharmed by the crash. "SHIT, AUSTRALIANS, EVERYONE ARM YOURSELVES!!!" Pyramid head yelled, grabbing Gonzo and wielding him like a baseball bat. "Relax mate, we're not gonna hurt ya. Ya might be useful to us." One of the Australians replied. "I like how that implies if you knew we weren't useful you would 100% hurt us." Charlie mused with a grin. "Well watchya expect, we're Australians!" The Australian snapped back. Suddenly, David Bowie the famous singer (and goblin king) and Bela Lugosi, the actor of Dracula who happened to be a vampire in real life, stumbled out of the trees and collapsed on top of Nosferatu. "David Bowie, neat." Charlie grinned. "Blood, I must drink blood...." Bela Lugosi croaked. "What the fuck is going on with this obsession with drinking blood?!" Pyramid Head snapped. Francoeur reached into a white satchel he'd been carrying and pulled out two travel flasks full of blood, handing one to Nosferatu and one to Bela Lugosi, who both aggressively chugged the whole cups down in under 5 seconds. "Les suceurs de sang se serrent les coudes." Francoeur said as they drank. "So let me get this straight, we've got two vampires, a mosquito and a giant flea. This is beginning to be more than just a coincidence." Pyramid Head announced flatly. "Watchya expect mate, you were on the flight to Australia." One of the Australians pointed out. "I'm not actually a mosquito." Gonzo chimed in. "Did I fucking ask?!" Pyramid head snapped back. "It's getting dark. We should all get into the shelter, something tells me evil lurks on this island, and I'm not talking about the Australians." Charlie announced seriously, and everyone exchanged nervous glanced and crowded into the shelter. The branch shelter was reasonably big considering how hastily it had been put together, but when Charlie, Pyramid head, Gonzo, Gru, the enderman, Francoeur, David Bowie, Bela Lugosi, Nosferatu and five Australians were all in there together, saying it was cramped was the biggest understatement since serial killer Jeffery Dahmer finally got caught by the police and said, 'I really messed up this time.' "It's so fucking crowded in here, move UP!!!" Pyramid Head yelled, kicking the nearest person to him, who was Nosferatu. Nosferatu went tumbling back onto David Bowie coughing and wheezing, and David Bowie looked down his nose at Nosferatu and said, "Oh dear."
"I can't breathe!" The enderman gasped, crushed against the tree trunk by everyone else. "My god, what is this?!" One of the Australians shouted, accidentally leaning his hand on one of Gru's folds and feeling it sink in and be engulfed by his grotesque, pasty flesh. The Australian's confused disgust soon become genuine horror when he felt worms writhing over his hand, which was still buried in Gru's flaps of flab. "God, somethings squirmin' on me hand!!" He shrieked, trying to yank his hand from Gru's horrific flesh and finding that it was stuck. Gru's heinous cheshire-cat grin widened. "That's what you get for touching Gru." Pyramid head replied bluntly. "How can I not?! We're more squashed in here than a koala that's been beaten to death with a mallet!!" The Australian shouted back. Gru's nose elongated suddenly, twisting through the air like a serpent and wrapping itself around Gonzo's throat. Then, Gru's nose plucked him from the crush and launched him out the branch shack. Gonzo laughed a shrill, manic laugh as he hurtled into the trees and vanished from sight and earshot. "What the fuck?!" David Bowie exclaimed flamboyantly, scrambling away from Gru as his nose retracted. "Gru made space." Gru leered. "I have a bad feeling about what may happen to Gonzo if we don't go after him, everyone scooch along so I can get out of here and find him," Charlie said with a pained smile, shuffling his way to the exit of the shelter, "Triangle guy, can you help me look?"
"Well done Gru, now we've got to leave the shelter and go after Gonzo's sorry ass!!" Pyramid Head snapped, shoving everyone angrily out of the way and storming after Charlie. The enderman quickly teleported out of the shelter, appearing beside Pyramid head in a cloud of purple particles and saying, "I-I'll go with you!"
"Simp." Pyramid head said flatly. "Correct." The enderman said with a smile and a thumbs up. Gru rolled out the shelter like a grotesque, flabby bowling ball and grinned, "Gru Gru vill go too too."
"Brilliant." Pyramid head muttered sarcastically. The group of four started into the dense jungle after Gonzo, leaving Francoeur, David Bowie, Bela Lugosi, Nosferatu and the group of random Aussies in the branch shack.