Charlie(mind) 3: Oh my Fucking Shit.

Self-Aware Accordion Caterpillar

Once inside the prison, they were all led to their maximum security cells. Charlie got his own cell due to his gigantic size, Gru and Gonzo were paired up and put into a cell together and Pyramid Head and the enderman, much to the enderman's delight and Pyramid Head's horror, were paired together into a cell. The three cells were all along the same wall of the most secure part of the prison, and everyone slumped down onto their shitty, lumpy prison beds, except Gru, who latched onto one of the walls like some kind of hideous fungus and stayed there in a grotesque, fleshy, pulsing blob. "So... how are we gonna escape?" Pyramid head asked. "I could teleport out and steal some keys. Or, better yet, I could just teleport us all out of here." The enderman suggested. "That's too easy Endie, come on, play the game," Charlie called from his cell, "Why don't we break out the good old-fashioned way?"
"And what way would that be?" Pyramid head asked flatly. "You know, knocking out guards, digging tunnels, being sneaky. Escape with a bit of pizazz, some excitement!" Charlie grinned back. "That sounds dangeroaaAAAAAH!!!" The enderman screamed, and Pyramid head glanced down from his top bunk to see the cause of the enderman's fear; a tiny, humanoid, goblin-like creature was standing on the foot of his bed brandishing a spoon like a javelin. "Get away you little nightmare!!" The enderman shrieked, scrambling away from the creature. The creature laughed a shrill, mischievous laugh and used the spoon to zip-line down from the bed on a piece of thread. Three more of the strange creatures scurried out from under the bed, and the enderman screamed again and leapt up onto the top bunk with Pyramid head. "Hey, do you guys have these funky lil' dudes in your cells too? They're like little ugly fairies, they're showing me their collection of shiny things!" Charlie called. "I have them in my cell, they're trying to saw off my nose with a nail file!" Gonzo called back gleefully. "They're in here too, they're all dancing around our bunkbeds!!" The enderman shouted as the little humanoids went prancing around the bottom of the bunkbed. "I'm gonna stomp on one of the little fuckers!!" Pyramid head shouted with malicious delight. "Pay them no attention," A voice called, and everyone turned to see a caterpillar with an accordion for a body slink out of the shadows with a series of accordion noises in a cell opposite, "They're the prison gremlins," the caterpillar explained, puffing on a crack pipe, "They patrol the prison and cause chaos wherever they can. They're drawn to places with anarchic auras and this prison is nothing if not anarchic."
"Are they allowed to be here? Like... by the cops and guards?" The enderman asked. "No, but it's nearly impossible to get rid of them once they've infested a building." The caterpillar replied, taking another drag of his crack pipe and exhaling a strange blue smoke that twisted and curled through the air like tendrils or ghostly fingers. "Who the fuck and what the fuck are you?!" Pyramid head asked bluntly. "I am the Self-Aware Accordion Caterpillar. The accordion caterpillar part of my title is obvious, but the self-aware part refers to the fact that the accordion noises I make when I move are slowly driving me insane, and that I have never known peace." The caterpillar replied with a smile. "O-oh." The enderman said quietly. Suddenly, the door to the high security area opened and a maid entered, who walked up the corridor with a tray, her high heels clacking on the concrete floor, and called, "Dinner! Open your hatches!"
"Guys..." The enderman said slowly, "I think I have a plan."
"Whoopee." Pyramid head muttered sarcastically. The enderman jumped off the top bunk, being careful to avoid standing on a prison gremlin, and opened his food hatch in the barred door saying, "I'm starving over here, pass me my food!" The maid approached, and as she did, the enderman met her eyes and stared intently into them, opening his mouth unnaturally wide. "What the fuck are you doing?!" Pyramid head hissed. The enderman didn't respond, and continued staring intently into the maid's eyes. After a few seconds of eye contact, her eyes had glazed over and become vacant, as if she was in some kind of trance. "You will do as I say." The enderman whispered. "I will do as you say." The maid echoed vacantly. "Woah, you didn't tell me you had fucking hypnosis powers!" Pyramid head whispered. "Listen to my voice," The enderman continued to the maid, and she raised her head attentively, "Go and gather up four more maids as quickly as you can." The enderman commanded, and the maid nodded and ran off out of the high security area, her high heels clacking all the way. "What are you planning?" Pyramid head asked. "Wait and see." The enderman grinned back. "Hey Accordion Caterpillar, why are you in the slammer?" Charlie asked curiously. "I was the leader of a massive network of drug gangs." The Accordion Caterpillar replied. "Yikes." Charlie grinned. "Guys it's official, the gremlins have completely sawn off my nose! My nose is on the floor!" Gonzo called cheerfully. The door to the maximum security hallway flew open and in came the bewitched maid, followed by four other maids who all looked very concerned. "Mary, tell us what this is about! Why have you led us here?" One of the worried looking maids asked. "Excuse me!" The enderman called, and the maids all turned to face him. He stared intently at them all, a quick glance to secure them in his telepathic hold, and then a good few seconds of piercing eye contact each to fully hypnotise the four that the first maid had brought in. Once all the maids were fully hypnotised, the enderman smiled and said, "Now all of you, take off your clothes."
"Hell yeah, great idea Enderwhore!! Hypnotise them and turn them into braindead strippers!" Pyramid head shouted enthusiastically, watching in excitement as the maids all removed their maid uniforms robotically. "Endie, seriously, where are you going with this?" Charlie asked. "Just wait," The enderman replied, waiting until the maids were all completely naked. Then, he grabbed Pyramid head and teleported him out to stand in the corridor with the naked maids. He repeated this process, teleporting into Gonzo and Gru's cell, grabbing both of them and teleporting them out into the hallway. Lastly, he was about to teleport into Charlie's cell to teleport him out into the corridor, but Charlie teleported out the cell himself and said, "I can teleport too and thought I'd save you the trouble."
"Right," The enderman said, rubbing his hands together, "Here's the plan. Everyone put on a maid outfit-"
"Hold up, wait a motherfucking minute," Pyramid head interrupted, "I liked the first few parts of this plan of hypnotising maids and getting them naked, but now you've gone and demanded that we put on these fucking ludicrous maid outfits!! There is no way I'm getting dressed up as a fucking maid!!!"
"Come on triangle toes, it'll be fun!" Charlie grinned, pulling off his orange jumpsuit shirt and slipping one of the maid dresses onto his first torso. "Yeah, it's like halloween but we're all maids and in prison!!" Gonzo yelled gleefully, also pulling on one of the maid outfits. The enderman had already put on his maid uniform, and turned to look at Gru, who ripped off his jumpsuit, devoured it in two seconds flat and then wriggled and writhed his titanic, blubbery form into the fourth maid dress, splitting the fabric in multiple places as he did so. Pyramid head looked around at the other four, all fully clad in their maid outfits, and sighed in defeat, ripping off his jumpsuit and pulling on the last maid uniform. "This plan is flawless! They'll never recognise us like this!!" Charlie grinned. "This maid outfit had a gun hidden in the underskirt." The enderman announced flatly, holding up a pistol. "Why are you complaining?!" Pyramid head snapped. "Hey, Accordion Caterpillar, do you want me to teleport you out of there?" The enderman asked, cocking the pistol. The Accordion Pillar laughed a wheezy, grating laugh and replied, "No, my friend. I've got this." With that said, the Accordion Caterpillar burrowed into the ground, the stone of the floor flying everywhere and a series of cacophonous accordion noises sounding around the hallway as he did so, and vanished from sight. "I wonder why he didn't escape earlier?" Charlie mused. "Who gives a shit, let's get out of this fucking circus. Every second I'm in a maid outfit is another second I want to kill myself slightly more." Pyramid head stated bluntly. "You will all sleep for 24 hours." The enderman said to the maids, and they all collapsed to the floor unconscious. With that, the charliemind gang snuck silently out of the door and out of the maximum security corridor.